Yesterday evening, in Canton, Ohio (“Where, ironically, you can’t get any good Cantonese food,” quipped Dennis Miller during his cup of coffee with “Monday Night Football”), the 2024 NFL season began with a thrilling, riveting, nail-biting, fantabulous preseason matchup between the Houston Texans and the Chicago Bears. Final score: Bears 21, Texans 17.
And… America yawned with indifference.
You remember the NFL, don’t you?
Once upon a time, you used to count down the days ‘til the NFL season began. It was a time of renewal, a brief, flickering moment of hope and optimism… until a lack of talent (and those stupid refs) dashed the Cowboys' your team’s dreams yet again (Dez caught the ball!!). But more than anything else, you cared. You genuinely, passionately cared about what happened on the football field.
And now?
(Scrolls phone…)
Sure, you’ll still watch it. And you’re generally aware of the major controversies and storylines. It’s still a justifiable reason to avoid spending time with your in-laws. And to be fair, a good, hard-hitting game can still get your adrenaline pumping.
But man… the magic is gone.
It’s not just the kneeling and/or National Anthem controversies, either. That was certainly an accelerant – and then some! – but it wasn’t the root cause.
Nor were it the many rule changes that legislated away so much of the mayhem that we adored. I mean, I get it: In recent years, we’ve learned a lot about brain health, and even though it’s awesome to watch, large men running full speed and smashing into each other is not good for your noggin’. But on the other hand, as a visual presentation, it’s changed the viewers’ experience. The presentation is now more athletic but less gritty, more orchestrated but less authentic.
It wasn’t because of an erosion of talent. Today’s athletes are insanely gifted. We just watched the GOAT Tom Brady wrap up his career, and Patrick Mahomes is only getting warmed up. If anything, we’re living in a Golden Age of NFL talent. Almost across the board, the players are getting bigger, stronger, faster, and better.
The NFL’s annual “Underwear Olympics” (the NFL Scouting Combine) is where the league invites a few hundred of the top college prospects to be weighed, measured, timed, prodded, and asked ridiculous questions (Miami Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland once asked the aforementioned Dez Bryant if Dez’s mom was a prostitute (she wasn’t). (By the way, DEZ CAUGHT THE BALL!!) The first Combine was in 1982; for 40+ years, the NFL has kept comprehensive records of players’ stats and measurements. The trendlines are clear: Decade-to-decade, the players are getting larger and more athletic.
So why is the product worse?
Is it the fault of the broadcast crews? Hating on the announcers isn’t a new thing; Howard Cossell feasted on hatred half a century ago. But there was a grandfatherly warmth – and a gravitas – in the NFL announcers of yesteryear that today’s top voices just don’t have. Not to bash guys like Tony Romo, Jim Nantz, Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, Greg Olsen, Kevin Burkhardt, Mike Tirico, or Cris Collinsworth, but do any of them even approach John Madden’s zip code? I wouldn’t trust them to sell me a wrench or cure my athlete’s foot – but I’d trust ol’ Uncle John to tell me Ace is the place, and BOOM! That tough actin’ Tinactin.
It's not because of free agency, corporate greed, PC posturing, or any other go-to boogeyman. It isn’t any one thing at all.
It never is.
Everything is a byproduct of everything. It’s death by a thousand cuts, where the fun-to-annoying ratio tilts in the wrong direction for too long, and your audience is exhausted. Everything has a tipping point.
Even the NFL.
Trouble is, you usually don’t realize it’s a tipping point until you’re farther down in the descent.
Generational change is a very real thing. Heed its headwinds wisely.
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