Monday is going to be a dark day for leftists, and Time Magazine, still trying to recapture its long-lost relevance, is ready to help. As Donald Trump is inaugurated as president again, Time wants sad leftists to do a little self-care, and offers eleven ideas for how they can do it. Of course, after Time readers are through brushing their horses or indulging in a little “forest bathing,” Trump will still be president, and then what? On that key question, Time is silent.
The Time article makes a cursory nod toward some semblance of actual journalism by noting that Inauguration Day “for some” will be “a highly anticipated day of celebration.” But then it notes that “others have been dreading it—and would happily finagle a deal with the universe to skip to some other day four years down the road instead.” And the latter group, of course, is the only one that interests Time. The has-been magazine doesn’t offer any tips for how best to celebrate the big day; the focus is entirely on leftists who have the sads.
And so what can these poor fighters for diversity, equity and inclusion do? Anindita Bhaumik, who is identified as “a therapist and certified trauma professional in Boston,” asserts that “the fact that Inauguration Day falls on Martin Luther King Jr. Day—a federal holiday, granting many people the day off work—is serendipitous.” This allows crestfallen socialists an opportunity to do some good for once: “Take advantage of your empty calendar by participating in a local service project, she suggests. Volunteering has been shown to reduce stress and depression, boost happiness, and enhance life satisfaction, motivation, social support, and sense of community.” All right. They can certainly find worse things to do.
Bhaumik suggests that if leftists can’t keep on destroying the country, at least as directly as they have been doing, they can simply occupy themselves with other things: “The cause of anxiety is often a desire to control the outcome. We can't control the outcome all the time, but what we can do is control what we do: ‘I’m going to go to a shelter and brush a horse or bathe a dog, and that will bring me joy for an hour and help someone else. This, I can control.’” Yeah, that’ll fix it.
Time offers other suggestions, including going to the gym, which “can help you wrest back a sense of power that you might feel is missing on Inauguration Day.” How’s that again? Well, it goes something like this: “You might not be able to do anything about the new Administration’s policies, but you know what you can do? Fifteen perfect-form jumping jacks.”
If getting into shape doesn’t appeal to angry basement-dwelling Antifa dweebs and feminists who don’t want to go to any effort to make themselves appealing to the male gaze, Emiliana Simon-Thomas, science director at the University of California at Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center (oh, brother) has another idea: “For those who have the impulse, ‘This is going to be terrible. I’m so angry, I feel so violated,’ or whatever unpleasant emotion, can you sit quietly and do something or marvel or wonder or be curious or just extend your mind into something aesthetic?" Maybe. Sure beats shouting at the moon because Trump is president again.
Related: Old Joe Biden Reminds Us Yet Again That Leftists Live in a World of Pure Fantasy
The ideas get weirder as they go along. To wit: “Make a vision board, suggests Julia Barzizza, a visual artist and sociology researcher in San Francisco. Brainstorm how you envision a peaceful, improved democracy: ‘For the queer community, it might be more queer representation; for BIPOC folks, it might be a different Inauguration,’ she says. Then collect images that represent your vision, whether they’re your own drawings or cutouts from magazines or the internet.” Yeah, pretend that somebody else is getting inaugurated, just as you pretend that all those men in dresses are women. That’ll do it.
Grieving Commies could also do some “forest bathing.” This is apparently what used to be called “taking a walk in the woods.” Bhaumik highly recommends this one, saying: “You’ll feel humbled.” Well, leftists could certainly benefit from that. And then there’s this: “Squeeze a short ‘brain dump’ into your day, suggests Nicolle Osequeda, a therapist at Lincoln Park Therapy Group in Chicago.” Leftists have been taking far too many brain dumps all over the country as it is, but whatever. If it makes them feel better on Inauguration Day, that’s all that matters. If we’re lucky, they’re going to have plenty more to get enraged about over the next four years.
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