Practically every day, Old Joe Biden gives us new evidence that he should be relaxing in his taxpayer-funded, walled Delaware beach house and watching Matlock reruns – oh wait, that’s what he is doing most of the time. But nearly every day he shows the world anew that he shouldn’t be doing this while pretending to be president of the United States.
Seldom, however, has he illustrated this in a more spectacular manner than on Wednesday, when he boasted about his efforts to “help keep guns out of the hands of domestic political advisors.” Maybe he was signaling that his political advisors are so angry and frustrated over working for him that they’re contemplating violence, and certainly it’s clear that some of these people aren’t exactly stable. Would you like to see Rachel Levine running around with a pistol? (“Dr. Levine, is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”) But it’s more likely that Old Joe can’t read off his cue cards anymore, and that talk of continuing this comic opera past January 20, 2025, is even more insane than Leftists usually are.
Biden says he is working to "keep guns out of the hands of domestic political advisors" 🤔 pic.twitter.com/Zp6RYcHuJM
— RNC Research (@RNCResearch) March 23, 2023
The White House transcript wonks performed their usual act of walking behind the circus elephant with a dustpan, crossing out “domestic political advisors” and informing us that what the putative president really meant to say was “convicted domestic abusers,” but that just makes things even worse. To get to this particular gaffe, Biden had to change the word order and two of the three words. Sure, “abusers” could be “advisors” when you’re 80 and squinting through the fog of dementia, but reading “political” for “convicted” is a real stretch – unless, of course, you’re accustomed to thinking of politicians as habitual criminals who might one day be convicted of their crimes, and not just Bad Orange Man and his imaginary crimes, either.
The disarmed domestic political advisors were just the beginning. On Thursday, the alleged chief executive spoke at a celebration of Obama’s healthcare train wreck, and in the middle of the presidential blather and blague, a baby started crying. You’d cry, too, if you had to sit through Old Joe stumbling and fumbling his way through the latest concatenation of clichés and propaganda posted on his teleprompter. Affable Lunchbucket Joe stopped to reassure the mother, who was hurrying the crying child out of the room: “That’s all right — we like babies. You don’t have to worry about it. It’s — it’s okay. It’s all right. Matter a [sic] fact, I like babies better than people.”
Biden may be excused for not thinking babies are people. After all, he is indefatigably dedicated not only to forcing every state to keep abortion legal, but even to forcing pro-lifers to pay for abortions. As this barbarity rests upon the anti-science claim that the unborn child is not a human being, maybe Old Joe isn’t sure about the humanity of just-born babies, either.
Related: President Brain Fog Strikes Again! Sings Happy Birthday to…Whom?
In the same speech that set the baby wailing, the supposed leader of the free world said, according to the White House transcript: “History is made when women decide that there’s a greater risk in accepting a situation they cannot bear than steeling our spine and embracing the promise of change. You know, and no one has more in her spine and — than the greatest Speaker in the history of this country, Nancy Pelosi.” State Freedom Caucus Network communications director Greg Price heard that as “stealing our spine,” and that’s certainly understandable, although it would make a hash of the statement; it isn’t as if Joe has never mumbled incoherent gibberish before. Interpreting it as “steeling” rather than “stealing” makes the statement marginally coherent, although nevertheless strange, as “steel” is hardly commonly used as a verb.
We shouldn’t have to do this. The statements of the man who is supposed to be president of the United States shouldn’t be a jumble of unintelligibility from which we try to divine a meaning. It’s time for Old Joe’s unarmed domestic political advisors to take him aside and tell him that he is well past his sell-by date, and should forget about 2024. He has carried out enough of the Left’s agenda for any man, and Americans will be trying to clean up the damage for generations to come. It’s time for him to retire the teleprompter once and for all and make a well-deserved return to the basement from which he conducted his miraculously successful and nearly nonexistent presidential campaign of 2020. He won’t be missed.
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