Top O' the Briefing
Happy Friday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends. Moon Pies will be served in the Pavilion of Comeuppance immediately following Arm Wrestling for Kombucha Skeptics.
We can file this under: Not Helpful At All.
The Republican Party's history of shooting itself in the foot whenever it most desperately needs both feet to be healthy is a long and frustrating one. I don't know how many times I've written that the GOP's toughest opponent is usually the GOP. I remember one debt ceiling drama summer when then Speaker of the House John Boehner essentially blinked during a staring contest with himself. He caved to nonexistent pressure from the Dems. They seemed to know that he would, too.
Now, after years of complaining about the Democrats turning the White House into an assisted living facility to make Joe Biden comfortable during his rapid decline, the GOP has decided to wheel Mitch McConnell back into the Senate chamber after a lengthy absence. It was eerily reminiscent of the late Sen. Dianne Feinstein's return to the Senate floor in 2023 after myriad health problems led to an absence of more than two months.
Feinstein passed away a little more than four months after that uncomfortable spectacle.
Sarah wrote about McConnell's less-than-triumphant return to work:
Well, McConnell rolled back to Capitol Hill in his wheelchair on Monday — well, someone rolled him back anyway — and it's... embarrassing. He looks thin, frail, and completely out of it. He speaks in a voice that is "faltered," according to Reuters. In other words, he's unfit to serve in the United States Senate.
I get it. The GOP needs votes. This is a warm body in a wheelchair collecting a vote. But even that's not going exactly the way it should.
It was, put mildly, a hot mess. Sarah chronicles the difficulty that Cocaine Mitch had in his attempt to properly cast a one-word vote. He got some help from his colleagues, who looked like they were trying to explain to Meemaw that everyone was there to wish her happy birthday.
As we are all painfully aware, McConnell's health has been in noticeable decline since he was still the Senate's top Republican. Serious questions about his ability to serve have been valid for quite some time now. No one on the GOP side of the aisle in the Senate seems willing to ask them, unfortunately.
My intention here isn't to casually rail against the elderly. I'm currently visiting my 88-year-old mother and am intimately familiar with the physical and cognitive struggles octogenarians face. I also know that some older people age better than others. Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley just celebrated his 93rd birthday and, by all accounts, is as mentally sharp as ever.
It is difficult and painful to watch those we love experience rapid, age-related decline. When it comes to our loved ones, we do whatever we can for their quality of life. That rarely involves making them go to work. It never involves parading them in front of television cameras and subjecting them to intense media scrutiny. I frequently wondered during the 2020 presidential race and the following four years whether anyone in Joe Biden's family actually loved him. It seemed like it was more important for his wife to become First Lady than to let him end his political career with a modicum of dignity.
Yes, as Sarah wrote, the GOP needs votes. There is the risk that, given Kentucky's fickle nature, a Democrat might win a special election should McConnell not be able to make it through the end of this year, which is also the end of his final term in office. There is also the fact that the situation in Kentucky regarding how McConnell's temporary replacement would be chosen is new and so ripe for legal challenges that nothing at all might get resolved.
Either way, these tawdry displays of elder abuse in Washington have got to stop. The framers of the Constitution didn't envision career politicians or people who lived as long was we do now. At times, I've been in favor of a mandatory retirement age for members of Congress. The Roman Catholic Church doesn't let cardinals vote for pope after they turn 80; maybe people who are pushing 90 shouldn't be voting on critical legislation. Grassley always gets mentioned as the counter-argument to that. He's an outlier, though. Bernie Sanders is the same age as McConnell and it sure would be nice to see him aged out of a job, wouldn't it?
Mitch McConnell is no conservative's favorite Republican. That doesn't mean we want to see him turned into an embarrassing meme. Personally, I don't want to see anyone that old being mocked because the people closest to him or her didn't have the decency to do what was right.
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The Mailbag of Magnificence
We'll do a quick Mailbag today, not due to lack of correspondence. Long story. Briefing stalwart Jerome kicks things off:
Hey Kruiser, Yesterday’s MB about Mayor Bass and her special talent at ruining LA made me think about all the other cities that dems have ruined, and it turned into a rabbit hole. I first thought about Occam’s Razor, but could not see a simple explanation. I then moved on to Hanlon’s Razor, but the decision between malice and incompetence is not clear. As a last resort, I focused on Kepner-Tregoe problem solving, and that lead to drinking a couple really good German Hefeweizen beers and saying “screw it, I just don’t know.” Am I over-thinking it all, or just need to have a few more Weihenstephaner Hefeweizen beers before really diving into it? Have a great weekend!
Wheat beers make me puffy. The Occam's Razor explanation you were looking for is that Dems are unconscious legacy voters. It's usually labor union-induced. That's a good reason to keep drinking beer too, however.
Will writes:
Mr. Kruiser, Friend of the Briefing Sheryl V-R recommended "IYKYK" as a subhead to Friend of the Briefing merchandise. I beg of you: No! I often drive from the Florida panhandle to Texas along I-10 and one of the lawyers who makes the drive even more unpleasant than it already is (I'm looking at you, especially, Louisiana) uses IYKYK on his seemingly thousands of billboards. The lawyer billboards are so obnoxious I spend much of my drive actively avoiding looking at any billboards. Anyway, keep up the good work. I start each weekday with The Morning Briefing
Back when I drove all over the country for gigs, I made that same drive countless times. It is a tedious one. Thankfully, those billboards did not yet exist back when I was frequenting that part of our interstate highway system. I think the Morning Briefing semi-secret society will probably go with some sort of secret handshake and commie-disparaging catch phrase rather than "IYKYK," so you're safe.
We'll finish with this from Doug F:
Kruiser Thanks for Carnac clip. I always waiting for this skit and was disappointed when it didn't happen
The "Evert, Austin, and Goolagong" Carnac line was the one that stuck with me during all of the fallow years before YouTube brought the memories flooding back. When I happened upon it the other day it occurred to me that I hadn't shared it here yet. ALL IS NOW RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.
Thanks to all who've written in this week. Have a great weekend, everyone!
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