You Might Be Part of LGBTQQIAAACPPF2K Without Even Knowing It

Gay pride in Reykjavik, Iceland

February is officially LGBT history month in Britain, and according to the acronym posted by one British gay site, you might be part of the movement — without even knowing it! Everyone from gays and lesbians to those into kinky sex now count in the movement.

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How big can a tent get before it becomes meaningless? Perhaps we’re about to find out.

Here is the list published by “The Gay UK” (PJ Media comments in italics):

L – lesbian Okay.

G – gay I’m tracking.

B – bisexual Yeah, yeah.

T – transgender Identifying with the gender opposite your biological sex. That can get weird with extraterrestrials and dragons

Q – queer Not normal, in some vague sexual way.

Q – questioning Do philosophers count? Socrates?

I – intersex At least everyone agrees this is a physical condition.

A – asexual Wait, I thought this was all about sex… Now there’s a group who identify as not wanting sex.

A – agender Ummm, people can’t erase gender, but okay I guess.

A – ally Seriously? All you have to do to get on this list is say you’re “allying” with people?

C – curious This is different from questioning how?

P – pansexual How is this different from bisexual? “I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!”

P – polysexual According to the dictionary, it’s the same as pansexual. Perhaps they meant polyamorous, loving more than one person?

F – friends and family WHAT? So if you’re vaguely related to somebody in the LGBT+ you’re in it, now?

2 – two-spirit Native Americans who embrace the masculine and the feminine in themselves. Somehow different from being high on peyote.

K – kink Yes, this means anyone who gets sexually aroused by weird things, like Fifty Shades of Grey, is in…

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Even in the act of pushing this new list, the site quoted a few responses on Quora dismissing kink:

Sarah remarked, “Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t believe that fetishes belong in the same acronym as sexualities and gender identity”.

While Caitlin added, “However, I and others believe that it shouldn’t be included in the acronym. Kink is not inherently non-cis or non-straight, and including it can feed into the stereotype of queer people being “sexual deviants”. BDSM is fine in a community of its own but it’s strange and unnecessary to include it with sexual orientations and gender identities”.

John wrote, “I’m gay, and I do not and will not use this silly LGBTQLAPK sh*t. They keep adding a silly letter for inclusion. You are just labelling yourselves, and that is a silly thing to do.”

According to this list, someone who does not identify as LGBT — and perhaps even disagrees with the idea that people should be “proud” of these sexual identities — could fit in this expanded acronym.

If anyone doubts being straight, they could be Questioning. As if that weren’t confusing enough, if someone were interested in “trying” new things — perhaps even just kinky straight sex — that might count as Curious. If someone chooses to live without sexual desire, or just was never into sex, he or she could be asexual. Anyone with friends or family in the movement counts under F, and of course some have already pointed out that K is rather too inclusive.

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Indeed, if the movement wanted to get really inclusive, they could consider “family and friends” to include all humanity. After all, every human being is related somehow…

Many have taken to referring to the movement as “LGBT+,” but that vaguery opens up its own questions. How DARE you not include two-spirit? What about demigender? So discriminatory!

Three months ago, the Canadian Elementary Teachers of Toronto had a “sensitivity training” aimed at catering to “LGBDTTTIQQAAP” people. Expect to see more plus signs in the future…

Oh wait, I thought the plus (+) sign was the opposite from the equals (=) sign for same-sex marriage. Talk about cultural appropriation.

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