News & Politics

This November 8th, Celebrate the Bitter Tears of Progressives

Hey, do you guys remember during the eight years of Obama how a lot of us kept saying something like, “Man, I just wish we had the adults in charge. Any adults.”

I don’t know if I actually read it or dreamed it, but I remember a post comparing the Obama administration to the Cat in the Hat, with all sorts of destruction taking place that would only stop once the adults came back in.

I mean, we all remember Obama in the Hat saying, “We can have lots of fun with a game I call ‘make the deserter into a war hero,’” or his even better: “Let’s give money to Iran to wage war against us.” And we, like the fish in The Cat in the Hat, just wished mom and dad would come back. Or, frankly, because we’re adults, just that any adults (or “close to” adults) got into government sometime soon.

Recently I’ve been wondering if I was unusually mean in this evaluation. After all, I am told, it doesn’t do to underestimate one’s opponents, even if they’re running around with their pants on their heads and screaming, “Russia, Russia, Russia.”

It doesn’t do to underestimate our opponents, even if they seem to be caught up in some fabulist version of WWII and being brave members of the “resistance,” which consists of putting up signs in their yards saying they welcome people of all colors, races, and orientations. (Only not of every political orientation, of course. What are you?  Some kind of hater, to want them to entertain a diversity of thought?)

It doesn’t do to underestimate our opponents, even if Hillary’s “What Happened” is the only book where the question in the title is answered by the author’s name, and the author, stubbornly, still does not get it.

It doesn’t do to underestimate our opponents even if their entire image of normalcy and adulthood is crumbling around them in a veritable dumpster fire (thank Harvey Weinstein for that).

And then I read about the…. how can I put this? To be charitable, the attempt to organize a public tantrum.

I’m sorry, but I can’t come up with a better name or description for this piece of crazy: Anguished Liberals Plan to ‘Scream Helplessly at the Sky’ on Anniversary of Trump Election.

Apparently our political opponents, in a movement now spreading from Boston to Philadelphia, think it’s a really good idea to scream impotently at the sky, like big, crying spoiled babies.

The only other people I have ever known who would think this sort of idea a brilliant one were my kids, circa two years of age. After that, they caught on that Mom really didn’t care how much noise they made, and would carry on, no matter how much they screamed.

The problem is that we’re dealing with generations of… well… for lack of a better term, overgrown brats who have never in their spoiled, molly-coddled, non-frustration lives been told “no.”  They want Hillary, and all her deceptions, and all her empty promises, and they’re going to scream until we give her to them.

The problem they have is that much to the surprise of some of us who basically voted not for Trump but against Hillary, the adults are back in charge, the country is busy, people are finding work, and the economy is showing some signs of not being dead yet.

Which means most of us are way too busy to give in just because they stand in a crowd and scream helplessly at the sky.

But I found, you know, when I had toddlers that there is an even better way of dealing with this sort of tantrum than ignoring it: Mock it. Make fun of it.

I will never forget my older son’s face as his father and I graded his tantrum. “I don’t know. The arm and leg-pumping action is not as energetic as last week. I’m sorry. I can’t give this one more than a seven.”

I don’t know if it was the last loud, embarrassing tantrum he threw, but it was close to the last. He just couldn’t believe that the people for whom he was putting on this show took it so lightly and found it so funny.

Well, given the overgrown children we’re dealing with, I recommend a similar treatment. But more so.

So the liberals are having a Scream Helplessly at the Sky day on November 8?

I suggest libertarians and conservatives have a “Bring popcorn” day on November 8. If you’re lucky enough to have one of these Liberal Toddler Tantrums in your city, buy the biggest, showiest container of popcorn you can get your hands on. Then stand on the nearest sidewalk and eat popcorn.

It’s not so much a demonstration or a counter-demonstration, as it is exactly what they deserve: “You’re so funny, and we’re here to enjoy your anguish.”

Of course, it will be hard to refrain from asking them to salt our popcorn with their bitter tears, but I recommend you don’t do it.  Just eat your popcorn and laugh.

The adults are back, and it’s beautiful.

#november8bringpopcorn  #dayofpopcorn.  Let’s get it started.