Okay, You’ll Never Believe Which City Is Hosting the 2024 Democratic Convention

AP Photo/Kamil Krzaczynski

Imagine you’re a Democrat. That’s right: if you’re a man, start imagining that you’re really a woman, or vice versa, and imagine actually believing that Old Joe Biden is a competent, capable president and not a dementia-ridden kleptocratic figurehead. You want to put the party’s best face forward for 2024, and that means holding the Democratic National Convention in a solidly blue city that will show the world that Democratic principles and policies work and should be adopted everywhere that benighted, racist, fascist redneck yahoos are still putting up some resistance. So what fantastically successful far-Left city did the Democratic National Committee choose? Chicago. No, this is not the Babylon Bee.

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The Chicago Sun-Times reported Tuesday that the Windy City got the nod after “beating bids from Atlanta and New York.” If those are your only three choices, then sure, Chicago is as good a choice as the other two, but it is still likely to bring unwelcome attention not to the glories of Leftist authoritarianism, but to just how disastrous Leftist policies are for America’s cities.

The big socialist clambake, says the Sun-Times, “will take place Aug. 19-22 next year. It is expected to draw between 5,000 and 7,000 delegates and alternates and attract up to 50,000 visitors to Chicago.” That makes 62,000 in all, for those of you raised on Common Core Math. How many of those 57,000 will actually leave Chicago after the convention is another matter altogether.

No one, however, is considering such unpleasant possibilities. Old Joe Biden called Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker (D-What Else?) to make the big announcement: “I just want you to know we’re planning on having the Democratic convention in Chicago.” Pritzker replied, “You know that Chicago is your kind of town.” Yeah, it sure is. How could Old Joe not love a town under siege from skyrocketing crime, with a depleted and demoralized police force and no accountability for the local corruptocrats, as the city is essentially a one-party Democrat fiefdom with a moribund and minuscule Republican Party? The Chicago Tribune reported in January that the city’s Republican Party is so small and powerless that it couldn’t even afford to field a candidate in the recent mayoral elections: “the base Republican vote in Chicago hovers around 17%.”

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Chicago thus encapsulates everything that the Democrats envision for the country as a whole: a terrified, terrorized, disarmed populace totally dependent upon the government for the small amount of protection it affords from the criminals who run free because they are members of the Left’s protected victim classes and an opposition that is so thoroughly defeated that it is no opposition at all, and if any of its candidates (whenever it actually has candidates) start to gain traction, it’s only because they start echoing the Leftist line.

As such, it’s the perfect choice for the Democratic National Convention, and Pritzker told Old Joe: “We’re going to throw a huge party, and it’s going to be a real big celebration of all of your successes.” That won’t take long, since there aren’t any Biden regime successes. What do you guys have planned for the rest of the time? Maybe a Jussie Smollett appearance? Or a celebration of the wildly successful administration of outgoing Mayor Lori Lightfoot, who was just resoundingly rejected at the polls, although the victorious candidate is even worse?

Related: Can Anyone Really Fix Chicago?

The Sun-Times explains that “by selecting Chicago for the convention, Democrats are highlighting the importance of the Midwest ‘Blue Wall’ states — Illinois, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Minnesota. The governors in these states, all Democrats, were all reelected in 2022.” Here again, that’s not really anything to be proud of, but what else do the Democrats have? And the convention will be a lavish media production anyway, worlds away from the grim reality of what Leftism has done to Chicago and threatens to do to the country as a whole.

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Democrats who actually plan to attend the convention, however, would be wise not to venture out into the city very much, unless they are prepared to be mugged or worse. Staying inside will also serve another purpose: as convinced Democrats, the delegates and visitors won’t want to see too much of Chicago anyway. The ugly reality will clash so jarringly with their utopian socialist fantasies that the shock may be too much for them to take. Stay in your hotels, Democratic conventioneers! Surely the Democrats will be presenting plenty of drag shows for the occasion right where the conventioneers are staying, so there’ll be no point in going out anyway.

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