News & Politics

Sorry, Commies, You Can't Ruin Christmas

Jim Lo Scalzo/Pool via AP

There is nothing a Marxist hates more than a happy American. So, naturally, over the Thanksgiving weekend, the most American of holidays, we began hearing about the dreaded omicron variant, just in time for Christmas!

Days later, the White House warns of upcoming Lenin-like travel restrictions. Again, JUST in time for Christmas!

Shall we discuss the effect that President Poo-pants’ supply-chain crisis will cause?

Then they tell us we are idiots for believing the leftists have a “war on Christmas.”

The left hates Christians, Christmas, and happy conservatives (they hate Jews and unborn babies too but this article is about Christmas. I’ll get to that later).

RELATED: Holy Overreaction Batman! South African Doc Who Discovered Omicron Tells the World to Relax

Dr. Fauxchi (see what I did there) stated in October that it was “too soon” to say whether or not it will be safe to gather for Christmas. That was before the thus far not-lethal omicron variant appeared. I believe it is not too soon to say Fauxchi is covitarded and I’m spending Christmas where and with whom I choose.

In case you missed it, the South African doctor who discovered the omicron variant clown-slapped the world for over-reacting to it. That won’t stop the one-two Biden-Fauci noodle-armed, nursing home, mosquito punches from trying to take down Christmas for the second year in a row.

FACT-O-RAMA! Where have we seen the government kill Christmas? The Soviet Union.

I’m done with Fauxchi and his “warnings. I won’t be celebrating Christmas secretly as they did in the U.S.S.R. I’m going full American Christmas gonzo. I’m going to wear the ugliest Christmas sweater I have, held down by a legally worn open-carry pistol and holster (as well as my legally concealed backup in my red, white and blue cowboy boots) and post the pictures to my Instagram so Fauxchi can see what Christmas fun looks like.

My super-secret adults-only eggnog may cause gastrointestinal abnormalities, so everyone who comes to my holiday Christmas party will receive this special Christmas gift below.

Remember, Fauxchi NEEDS the China flu to remain scary and in the headlines. Once COVID becomes irrelevant, so will Fauxchi. Much like a drag queen in a karaoke bar, Fauxchi is starving for attention. He will do whatever he can to stay in the news, and that includes trying to put the kybosh on Christmas over a virus with a survivability rate of 98.4%.

Disregard Fauxchi the way your liberal sister-in-law ignores the “check engine” light in her Prius. Have fun and please send your pro-Christmas, anti-Fauxchi,  pics to my Twitter or Instagram account. Send me anything that looks like Christmas fun, drinking, shopping pics, more drinking, etc. The more fun we have, the angrier the left will be.