Remember the ever-looming threat of nuclear war? Back when I was a kid, I was terrified of it. Everybody was. We were all worried that Reagan was gonna go crazy and nuke the Russkies. (“We begin bombing in five minutes!”) Hollywood cranked out stuff like Special Bulletin and The Day After and WarGames and Miracle Mile and lots of other movies that reflected America’s fears of nuclear armageddon. Hell, they’re still making Terminator and Mad Max movies, decades after that original impetus faded. Back then, it just seemed inevitable. Like the man sang: “Everybody’s got a bomb, we could all die any day.”
In 2021, we’ve got a lot of other stuff to worry about. Right or wrong, on the list of stuff that keeps Americans awake at night, “global thermonuclear war” ranks down there with “athlete’s foot” and “being deadnamed and misgendered on Twitter.” But there are still a lot of nukes out there, whether we’re thinking about them or not.
Now that you are thinking about it, are you really comfortable with Joe Biden having his finger on the button? Does it ease your mind to remember that everything you’ve ever known could be wiped out overnight by a guy who can barely put two words together without a small army of staffers?
If not, you have some strong support from… House Democrats?!?
Nearly three dozen House Democrats on Monday called on Biden to relinquish his sole authority to launch nuclear weapons, in the latest appeal to reform the command-and-control structure so that no single person can initiate a nuclear war.
“…Vesting one person with this authority entails real risks,” states the letter spearheaded by Rep. Jimmy Panetta of California. “Past presidents have threatened to attack other countries with nuclear weapons or exhibited behavior that caused other officials to express concern about the president’s judgment.“
“While any president would presumably consult with advisors before ordering a nuclear attack, there is no requirement to do so,” the letter adds. “The military is obligated to carry out the order if they assess it is legal under the laws of war. Under the current posture of U.S. nuclear forces, that attack would happen in minutes.”
I don’t know about you, Dear Reader, but you know what this sounds like to me? Buyer’s remorse! The Dems got what they wanted, and now they’re not so sure they want it after all. The euphoria of dispensing with Bad Orange Man has worn off, and now they’re like, “Oh crap… this 80-year-old man has his finger on the button! What did we do? What if he thinks he’s ordering ‘Lunch’ but the button says ‘Launch’?”
Sorry, guys. You broke it, you buy it. This is the man you wanted in the White House, and the executive office has executive authority. Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is a full decade older than Reagan was when he was elected, and if he decides to bomb Putin for hiding his hearing aids, them’s the breaks.
If you want to get rid of Biden, you’ve got the 25th Amendment. Or maybe you could impeach him. You’ve had plenty of practice at that lately.
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You guys nominated a guy who’s even older than Trump, and he won.* No take-backs.
Speaking of Biden’s rapidly decaying brain, this magic moment just sorta came and went earlier this week:
It sounds like he's just muttering random syllables because his ancient brain is melting, but can you imagine if he were a Republican? Hooooooooo boy. pic.twitter.com/WrfN31DDFI
— I got your #Unity right here (@jtLOL) February 23, 2021
It sure sounds like THE FORBIDDEN WORD to me! But it’s equally likely that he’s just spiraling into dementia and has no idea how to form words anymore.
Whew!
*Sorry, MAGA-heads, but Biden did win. That’s how elections work. You win or you lose, and Trump lost. Just because he can’t get over it, that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to spare his feelings.
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