News & Politics

Iran Shoots Down Passenger Plane and Kills 57 Canadians, So Trudeau Blames Trump

Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau shakes hands with U.S. President Donald Trump during a meeting at the G7 leaders summit in La Malbaie, Que., on Friday, June 8, 2018. (Justin Tang/The Canadian Press via AP)

Try to imagine for a moment that you’re a world leader. You represent a first-world country with millions of people. It isn’t one of the main countries, but it’s still pretty good. Let’s say, I dunno, Canada. And let’s say that an Islamic dictatorship — Iran, for example — has just shot down a civilian airliner carrying dozens of your countrymen. Nobody was shooting at Iran, but Iran shot down a plane full of innocent people. The Iranian government lies about it for days, until the evidence is overwhelming and finally they have to admit responsibility.

What do you tell the people of Canada? Whose fault is it? Who do you blame?

If you’re Justin Trudeau, and the president of the United States isn’t a Democrat, the question answers itself.

“I think if there were no tensions, if there was no escalation recently in the region, those Canadians would be right now home with their families. This is something that happens when you have conflict and war. Innocents bear the brunt of it.”

So it’s America’s fault that Iran killed those Canadians. Hey, you can’t blame Iran, right? They’re the victims here. You can’t fault them for defending themselves, even though the U.S. wasn’t shooting at them. They thought we were shooting at them, because they were retaliating for the death of their top terrorist. It’s America’s fault, because #OrangeManBad.

You don’t want people to think Justin Trudeau likes Trump, do you?

It would never even occur to me to want to live in Canada, but today I’m especially glad I don’t. I can’t even imagine watching Iran kill 57 of my fellow citizens, and then watching the leader of my country absolve Iran of blame. I don’t hate Trump enough to think that makes sense. I don’t hate anyone enough to think that makes sense.

Iran did this. It’s Iran’s fault. They admitted they did this. The United States didn’t do it. “Conflict” and “tensions” and “escalation” didn’t do it. Iran did it.

But this nonsense isn’t exactly a surprise. Trudeau’s gonna Trudeau. This is what he is.

Incidentally, I’m glad Trudeau isn’t coloring his beard. Or any other part of his face.