News & Politics

Jim Acosta Risks Life and Limb to Sell His Book

Jim Acosta of CNN listens during the daily briefing at the White House in Washington, Wednesday, Aug. 2, 2017. (AP Photo/Susan Walsh)

Valley Forge. Gettysburg. Pearl Harbor. Omaha Beach. And now, we can add another name to the list of sacred places in the American collective unconscious: the DoubleTree by Hilton in Philly.

That’s where CNN’s brave correspondent Jim Acosta bravely spoke yesterday about The Enemy of the People, his brave new book about how brave he is:

Tickets were a mere $50 to the general public, and the price included a program and a signed copy of this important book. But really, isn’t it worth that price just to breathe the same air as this legend?

You know who doesn’t want you to pay fifty bucks to listen to Jim Acosta talk about how important it is to be Jim Acosta? Donald Trump, that’s who. What better way to aid the #Resistance than by spiting Orange Man?

These people are all patriots:

Acosta has also made numerous television appearances to promote his book, which has not been seized by the secret police and burned for its dangerous ideas. He has spoken freely about how oppressed he is. No government assassins are stopping him from claiming he’s under some sort of threat.

That’s just how insidious this fascism is. These authoritarian monsters are repressing Jim Acosta by allowing him to say whatever he wants, wherever he wants.

Who will be next? Rob Reiner? Bette Midler? Alyssa Milano? Stephen Colbert? How long will we stand by and watch while Trump controls us by not controlling us in any way?

If you miss Acosta’s book tour this time around, he’ll probably be oppressed enough during Trump’s second term that they’ll ask him to write another book about it. Enemies of the People 2: Infinity Whine.