News & Politics

Feel the Excitement: Bill de Blasio Is Running for President Too

If the mayor of the fourth-largest city in Indiana can run for president, why can’t the mayor of the biggest city in America? With Bill de Blasio’s entry in the 2020 race, we now have 24 Democrats trying to save us from Trump. Twenty. Four. Considering the public’s reaction to these candidates so far, you could call it an entire case of cold ones.

Here’s de Blasio’s announcement video. SPOILER: He’s not going to get the nomination.*

“The good thing about New Yorkers is they look the same whether they’re really pissed off at you or they like you.” I’m not sure how Mayor Wilhelm de Blasio can determine that. When has he ever met somebody who likes him?

It’s amazing how much pandering a guy can pack into three minutes: Promise to redistribute wealth, #FightFor15, claim health care is a human right (it isn’t, nor is the product of anybody else’s labor), push for “free” this and “free” that, throw in phrases like “working families” and “a decent wage,” blame Trump for Obama’s immigration policies, stoke fear about global warming killing everybody… and do it all while riding around in your taxpayer-funded limo.

If Warren Bill expects the citizens of his fair city to back him up, he’s in for some disappointment:

Oof.

I don’t know how he plans to fix America when he can’t even fix the subway, but best of luck to him. If nothing else, today is a great day for hecklers.

*But then, I said the same thing about Trump…