News & Politics

Never Mind, Now Kamala Doesn't Think the Boston Marathon Bomber Should Be Able to Vote

Never Mind, Now Kamala Doesn't Think the Boston Marathon Bomber Should Be Able to Vote
Democratic Sen. Kamala Harris, of California, formally launches her presidential campaign at a rally in her hometown of Oakland, Calif., Sunday, Jan. 27, 2019. (AP Photo/Tony Avelar)

On Monday night, Bernie Sanders gave the most Bernielicious answer possible when asked if the Boston Marathon bomber should be allowed to vote from prison. It took him several minutes of disjointed babbling to get to his point that yes, everybody should be able to vote, even somebody who’s on death row for planting a bomb right next to an eight-year-old boy.

When Kamala Harris was asked to comment on Bernie’s ridiculous answer, she said:

“I agree that the right to vote is one of the very important components of citizenship, and it is something that people should not be stripped of needlessly, which is why I have been long an advocate of making sure that the formerly incarcerated are not denied a right to vote, which is the case in so many states in our country. In some states, permanently deprived of the right to vote. And these are policies that go back to Jim Crow, these are policies that go back to the heart of policies that have been about disenfranchisement, policies that continue until today, and we need to take it seriously.”

Remember, she was asked a direct question about the Boston Marathon bomber. That’s where her mind went: Jim Crow. Jahar Tsarnaev is a victim.

But you know what? Never mind!

Well, she said she wanted to have a conversation. Apparently, that was it.

Or, as CNN anchor and custodian of third place Wolf Blitzer put it:

She “clarified” her position… by completely reversing it. See, when she said the first thing, of course she didn’t really mean it, because that would be dumb and crazy. When she said the exact opposite, that was a “clarification” and not a “flip-flop” or a “backpedal” or anything bad like that. Wolf knows that his job is to help the Democrats.

I’ve been assuming that Kamala will end up getting the nomination. Not because she’s the best candidate, but because Democrats are obsessed with identity politics. As a black woman, she’s the most intersectional of them all, and voting for her would make Dems feel better about otherwise being as racist and sexist as the rest of us. If voting for a black guy made you a good person, and voting for a woman made you a good person, then voting for Kamala will make you a wonderful person!

But of course I’m always wrong about everything, which is why she’s trailing the old white dudes in the polls. Fortunately for her, she’s got a whole year to work on becoming a better liar.