Today is Election Day, which means it’s the day everybody tells you to vote. Again and again and again. Over and over and over. All damn day. Some of them will be honest and tell you to vote for one party or the other, but most of them just assume you’ll vote for the party it’s cool to support. They think the Democrats only lost in 2016 because too many of them stayed home. Maybe they’re right, could be. Maybe Trump really has alienated Americans in Flyover Country as much as he’s alienated liberals and the media (pardon the redundancy). We’ll find out in a matter of hours!
Nobody who’s anybody wants to be the guy and/or gal who didn’t vote against Trump and everything Trump stands for. If they don’t make sure everybody knows they voted against the political party their peers all hate, they might get cast out of the tribe. Signaling virtue is at least as important as having any in the first place.
Maybe you’re a former sitcom actress struggling for relevancy:
I will be taking a road trip today and hitting six CA districts to drive people to the polls.
CA – 50, 49, 45, 48, 39, 25!
I hope to see you today.
I’m ready. Let’s do this, America.
— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) November 6, 2018
— Valerie Bertinelli (@Wolfiesmom) November 6, 2018
Or a guy most famous for playing a stupid CGI lunkhead:
Today we get to #vote for the wholeness of America, the beautiful sum of our different parts. We get to choose moving forward together & taking care of peoples health. We vote for an America for all of us; every color, creed, gender & way that people choose to express their love. pic.twitter.com/DCZPYY1Lvp
— Mark Ruffalo (@MarkRuffalo) November 6, 2018
Or an old lady who used to be cool 30 years ago:
— Madonna (@Madonna) November 5, 2018
Maybe you’re an increasingly senile novelist who’s frustrated that real live human beings won’t obey your commands like the characters in your books, and you don’t really know how horses work:
Donld Trump is a runaway horse, and we’re all on board. Vote Democratic tomorrow. Let’s put a bit in his mouth and rein him in.#VoteBlue
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) November 5, 2018
Maybe you’re a late-night comedian whose ratings and reputation suffered when you were insufficiently hostile to Trump:
— jimmy fallon (@jimmyfallon) November 6, 2018
Maybe you’re a “journalist” for a newspaper:
Feeling extra grateful to be a naturalized citizen today. Keeping up my tradition of wearing red, white & blue to the polls 🇺🇸 Make sure to VOTE! #IVoted #MidtermElections2018 pic.twitter.com/m6cEWvGLzF
— Michelle Ye Hee Lee (@myhlee) November 6, 2018
Maybe you work for a company that makes video games, and for some reason you think anybody’s interested in your political opinions:
— Fallout (@Fallout) November 6, 2018
Maybe you work for a pop-culture website, and Hillary’s loss has driven you insane:
Those are just a handful of examples. It’s everywhere. Fortunately for these folks, the only thing that’s more American than the right to vote is the right to be obnoxious.
As annoying as all these people are, at least they’re not threatening to invade anybody’s privacy. Democrat Scott Wallace, who’s running for Congress in Pennsylvania, is using an interesting tactic to get out the vote:
Also this Scott Wallace door hanger is Orwellian and creepy pic.twitter.com/rKbs5JzZ24
— Albert Eisenberg (@Albydelphia) November 4, 2018
Vote-shaming! This is especially ironic considering Wallace’s own voting history, as uncovered by Joe Schoffstall at the Washington Free Beacon:
The Free Beacon previously obtained Wallace’s voting history record in the district that shows Wallace did not register to vote in Bucks County, Pa.—where he is from—until Dec. 31, 2017, and did not cast his first vote in the district until May 15, the day of the Democratic primaries. Wallace moved away from the district decades ago and has maintained a home in Maryland while living in South Africa running his family foundation, the Wallace Global Fund, before moving back to challenge Fitzpatrick.
What a great message to prospective voters: “Don’t do what I did before I decided to run for office, or I might blackmail you!”
Remember: If Democrats win today, that proves they’re right about everything. If Democrats lose today, it proves we’ve all failed them yet again, even though they’re right about everything. Either way, they’ll just keep screaming and yelling until they get what they want.
And they always want more.