I’m old enough to remember when the Virginia Tourism Association ran a fairly extensive ad campaign on TV declaring that “Virginia Is For Lovers.” I can also remember going on vacation, and no matter where you were in the state, every little tourist shop had Virginia license plates with that same slogan, punctuated, of course, with a big red heart.
Things have sure changed for the state, at least politically. It may still be a place for lovers, but the Democrats currently running for office there are rapidly changing the reputation to a place for whackos.
It was just a few months ago when we discovered that Susanna Gibson, a Democrat who is running for a delegate seat in Virginia’s 57th district, was picking up some side cash by making porn films with her husband. The sex acts were streamed live on the site “Chaturbate,” which gets its name from “the act of masturbating while chatting online.”
Gibson would encourage those viewing the acts to pay them with “tips” for which they would perform specific requested acts. In at least two videos, Gibson tells viewers she is “raising money for a good cause.”
In several videos, Gibson interrupts sex acts to type something into a computer next to her bedside. Then, speaking directly into the camera, she would urge viewers to provide tips, which are paid through “tokens” that viewers can purchase through the site. In at least two videos, she agrees to perform certain acts but only in a “private room,” which requires the viewer to pay more.
“I need, like, more tokens before I let him do that,” she responds to a request that she and her husband perform a certain act. “One token, no. More. Raising money for a good cause.”
Very quickly, as tips begin to arrive, she says “thank you” five times and tells her husband she will agree to that act.
Gibson essentially took the lead in addressing viewers on the videos, but in one case, her husband, an attorney, chimed in with, “C’mon, guys,” to echo her pleadings for tips.
For Our VIPs: A Porn Star Is Running for the Virginia House of Delegates, and Why Not?
Gibson also talked about forcing unsuspecting hotel staff to take part in her porn, allowing viewers to do drugs off her body, and soliciting money on some of the live-streamed videos so users could "watch me pee."
Apparently, while Gibson may have the necessary nature to please strangers by accommodating their fantasies through sex, the solicitation of “tips” is a violation of Chaturbate’s terms and conditions, which state, “Requesting or demanding specific acts for tips may result in a ban from the Platform for all parties involved.”
Not surprisingly, when the existence of the videos became public, Gibson immediately tried to blame Republicans. In a statement, she referred to the exposure of the videos as “an illegal invasion of my privacy designed to humiliate me and my family.”
Apparently, Little Miss Muffet forgot that she herself had performed the sex acts, improperly solicited tips, and live-streamed the videos.
She continued, “It won’t intimidate me, and it won’t silence me. My political opponents and their Republican allies have proven they’re willing to commit a sex crime to attack me and my family because there’s no line, they won’t cross to silence women when they speak up.”
Huh? Ok, whatever. Here’s an idea: just learn to keep your legs and mouth closed. At least until after the election; then once you lose, you can go back to something you might be good at because when it comes to politics and the blame game, you suck. (No pun intended.)
Meanwhile, in District 71, we have Jessica Anderson, another Democrat, vying for a delegate seat. Anderson also has some interesting ways to campaign. In a video released on October 23, she was filmed gyrating in an eggplant costume. I have no idea what she was doing or why she chose an eggplant get-up, but we did learn several things.
First, don’t dress as an eggplant. Second, if you dance like Elaine on "Seinfeld," don’t dance anywhere, especially not dressed as an eggplant. Third, if you are a voter in the 71st district and one of the candidates is a liberal nut-job Democrat named Jessica Anderson, who likes to dance dressed as an eggplant, don’t vote for her.
Are you now or have you ever been eggplant, @JessAnderson4VA? pic.twitter.com/jcRE8upctV
— The Virginia Project (@ProjectVirginia) October 23, 2023
Wait, though, Anderson wasn’t through. The eggplant, it turns out, was just her opening act. On October 31, she posted a video on TikTok where she was out for a run and stopped to pee outside. I’m sure this has happened to a lot of people, but she chose to narrate the video while viewers could hear the golden shower splashing on the ground. She then leaves us with the adept piece of advice to “avoid yellow snow.”
New from the #JessicaAndersonCringeCollection: "Yellow Snow": the world's unsexiest pee tape
— The Virginia Project (@ProjectVirginia) October 31, 2023
because it's totally normal to record yourself narrating a urination experience like a complete psycho then post it to TikTok then run for state legislative office pic.twitter.com/GpPuE4Kdvc
Virginia, here are two clear cases of how voting Republican not only makes sense but would also be illogical for you to vote otherwise. Seriously, both Gibson and Anderson have obvious decision-making issues. You don’t need a part-time porn actress or a urine-spraying eggplant making decisions for you and your family. This honestly sounds like a "Saturday Night Live" skit, which proves once again that, if liberals are involved, truth really is stranger than fiction.
I can imagine Gibson calling Anderson and giving her hell for peeing outside. “Girl, what are you doing? Don’t waste that outside in the woods; charge for it on a live stream.”
Good Luck, Virginia.
