What Went Wrong With Humanity? I'm Blaming Washing Machines

(AP Photo/Amy Sancetta, File)

I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about what went wrong with humanity. The memes have never been more accurate.

We like to think we’re very advanced, but is that true? Has innovation brought us the freedom it promised? Are human beings the happiest we’ve ever been? Considering that more than 37 million Americans are on antidepressants, I doubt it. Teen suicide rates are skyrocketing. Drug use, violence, despair, isolation, and loneliness are completely off the charts. No one is okay.

But life has never been easier for human beings. Everything can be accomplished with the touch of a button. Everything is instant and automatic. We should have more free time than ever, be happier, and be more content than ever before. Look around. Is that what you observe? All I see are sick, miserable people who don’t know what gender they are.

Mr. Fox and I are watching 1923, the Yellowstone spinoff starring Harrison Ford and Helen Mirren (a great show). In the episode we watched last night, the Dutton family, ranchers who work from sunup to sundown caring for animals, fighting rustlers, and trying to survive the harsh Montana conditions, take a trip into town and see a sidewalk salesman with the electric company showcasing a new invention: the electric washing machine.

Under a sign that says “housecleaning made easy” stands a bright and shiny washing machine that catches the ladies’ eyes. “What is that?” asks one of the young women in the group. “That’s a washing machine,” says the salesman, eager to make a sale. After informing the group that it’s for washing clothes, the women exclaim, “Can you imagine?”

One of the cowboys catches on quickly. “So you sell electricity and then rent all of the things that need electricity?” After hearing the affirmative, he continues, “But we don’t need any of these things.”

“Well, they’re conveniences,” says the Devil in the tweed suit. “Their use gives you time to do other things.”

“What other things?” asks the cowboy.

“Well, other chores,” replies Beelzebub.

“Until you invent machines to do those. Then what will we do?”

“Go for a picnic! Go for a swim! Go to the cinema! You can enjoy a more leisurely life!” says the Deceiver.

“That ain’t more leisurely cause we gotta work more to pay for all this stuff,” replies the cowboy. “Here’s the thing. If we buy all this stuff we’re not working for ourselves anymore, we’re working for you!”

The men then scoff and move away, having seen the grift, but the women linger with their eyes coveting the machine. “I must admit, that washing machine seems like a good idea,” says one of them as they follow the men, all probably calculating how they will manipulate their men into buying one.

This fits into my growing concern that it has been women throughout our history who are at the root of all foolishness. So many cultural ills we face are the direct result of women gone wild and the men who didn’t stop them. Gee, Megan, that sounds misogynistic. I know. Let me put some perspective on it. In no way am I suggesting all women are the problem. Clearly, faithful, wise, good-intentioned, disciplined women exist. (Lots of you are reading this.) But if you look around at our culture, the majority of women in it aren’t doing us any favors.

Let me list a few examples:

Feminists brought us the sexual revolution, which removed boundaries from sex and led to an explosion of divorce, fatherless children, single mothers living in poverty, pornography, and more. Women have created a toxic dating culture by refusing to keep their knees together until marriage, which has ruined men and led to generations of them choosing not to get married or commit and generations of women who can’t find a spouse.

This would be bad enough, but it’s not even the beginning of the exhaustive list of terrible things women have done. Demanding to be let into the workplace seems like a huge failure too. This led to the institutionalization of child care, detached kids, and absent parenting. Worst of all, it forced women who didn’t want to leave the home out into the world and away from their families just so they could survive (or buy more stuff that needed electricity).

But I started with the premise that this is the washing machine’s fault. Let’s go back to that. We don’t even need to talk about the iPhone and social media, which are also terrible for everyone. Before the invention of electricity and machines that wash clothes, women worked all day, every day in the home—cooking, washing, gardening, canning, mending, mothering, caring for animals, etc. Men worked harder outside the home—building, hunting, fighting, and doing whatever other back-breaking work had to be done to survive. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but it was definitely a freer existence. No one could argue that. The only boss you reported to was yourself. If you didn’t work, you didn’t eat or you’d freeze to death in the winter. If you didn’t get up to feed the horses, you’d have no transportation. Obesity was unheard of, and I bet no one had insomnia. If you’ve ever spent more than a few hours toiling in the sun until you’re exhausted, you know what good sleep feels like. Ancient wisdom points to the timeless truth that humans need to do physical labor. 

For even when we were with you, this we commanded you: that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

11 For we hear that there are some among you who walk disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.

12 Now those who are such, we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ that they work with quietness and eat their own bread.

To eat your own bread means you grew the ingredients and made it yourself, not that you picked it up at a store. But we have created a society in which hardly anyone works. Those who do physical labor still have some connection to what being human is. Most of us don’t. We sit in front of a computer screen, push buttons, and call it work. It isn’t. We have to invent machines to make us walk and call it exercise, instead of just walking the fields and harvesting the food we grow.

The invention of electricity and the things that came with it would surely tempt the weaker sex. Who wants to hand wash clothes every week in a cold stream? Admittedly, I think I’d hate it. Or maybe if I never knew any different I wouldn’t. It would just be one more thing you do to survive. I know for a fact I’d have less arm jiggle and a smaller waist. I also wouldn’t have bulging discs in my neck from staring at a computer screen all day.

Women, myself included, love to find easier ways to do things because we get tired easier, our muscles aren’t as strong as men’s, and once a month we want to lie in bed and cry. Lucifer knows how to corrupt women. “You’re so tired, you deserve a break. Why won’t he buy you that machine? It would save you so many hours!” he whispers. The next thing you know, your husband is taking on a second job just so you can have that machine, despite the fact that he works twice as hard as you and always has. But men have a soft spot for their women. They love to say “yes” to us. And, oh! How we have abused it!

“It’s just a washing machine…it’s just a bank account… it’s just time to myself… it’s just my right to bodily autonomy… it’s just birth control… it’s just aborting your full-term baby without your knowledge… it’s just sexual freedom… if you really loved me, you’d let me be polyamorous… it’s just a divorce… it’s just full custody… it’s just filing a false restraining order so you can never see your kids again!”

Ancient wisdom is still cited for a reason. “Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop” is frighteningly true. When women were given “leisure” time, they used it to wreak all sorts of evil on humanity. The Bible says that God cursed Eve for manipulating her husband into disobeying God.

To the woman He said:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”

I think it’s safe to say women have been trying to end-run around that curse since then, and it seems that it’s finally been skirted. Most women in the West rule over their husbands, who have become weakling soy drinkers. There are entire Reddit communities of “polyamorous” couples, and if you read their stories, it’s always the woman who wanted to “open” the relationship. But are they happier? Look around. There is so much chaos as a result. Fatherless children are shooting up schools, drugging themselves, and cutting themselves to dull the pain of the existence the adults have built for them.

I can’t speak for men because I’m not one. I can say with certainty that they have their own problems (some of which include not telling women “no” more often). They are not blameless. They get no points for being weak and allowing this female takeover. Men and women were meant to work together on this earth through physical labor—complementing one another, day by day, side by side, building and sheltering home and family. That should be our only “job.” Instead, women have decided to avoid physical labor by demanding men provide an easier existence. Now, after men have built everything, women compete with them, setting us up as enemies and combatants. What a disaster it has been.

Living simply and naturally without the inventions of the leisure-pushers is harder. But maybe if we tried it again we’d have far less time to create problems like transgender children, yet another horror brought to us by women. (Unless you’re under the impression that most men out there are just henpecked husbands deciding their little boy is really a girl inside and needs a princess dress and some hormones immediately.) Women are pushing this insanity. Listen to these lunatics!

Do you know what would stop this? An EMP. Then these women would be back in their homes washing their laundry by hand. They wouldn’t have the time or the energy to lobby Congress to cut off their children’s genitalia.

Go back, everyone. We royally screwed up.


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