The Morning Briefing: The Usurper Edition

Virginia Mayo

OMG Becky — look at her butt! I miss the ’80s and ’90s. Just sayin’.

Hey there! How are ya? I’m your fill-in guest host today for the Top O’ the Mornin’ briefing because Kruiser wanted to take a day off to drink beer at some hippie leftist hangout celebrate his birthday. How dare he? Honestly. The world is at sixes and sevens. I have no idea what that means, but during my debut as Mrs. Antrobus in “The Skin of Our Teeth” in 1993, I was led to believe it’s very bad. It comes right before the dogs start sticking to the sidewalks. If you know, you know.

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So what is going wrong in the world besides me not going to CPAC yet again this year? Lots of things, friends.

And that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? You need your rage fix. We all need our rage fix. I don’t know why that is. Are we broken? Yes. Can we admit it? Every day and twice on Sundays (go to confession). Speaking of Catholicism, Kruiser shamed me hard on the Live Chat last week because I wasn’t giving up meat on Fridays for Lent. I told my kids about that conversation and, unbelievably, they were all, “We should give up meat on Fridays. We suck.” So pizza night has been temporarily moved to Saturdays while I try to figure out a few fish or veggie meals for this season of sacrifice. But I would like to point out that the Catholic school my little one attends doesn’t even do meat-free Friday lunches during Lent. Apparently, they’re having pepperoni pizza on Fridays. Explain that!

For those of you who don’t know, Lent symbolizes the 40 days Jesus endured in the desert, where he was tempted by Satan. During these 40 days, Catholics are supposed to fast and pray. At mass this week, the altar was decorated with cacti — just one more reason why I do love my church. The visual reminders of the seasons we pass thru encourage us to sit in them and savor each one. In celebration of the changing of seasons and the waiting period of Lent that brings us to Easter and the glorious rebirth of spring, I set my table. That doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I don’t do it often. In fact, my son said, “Is it a holiday?” In a way, it is. Today is a holy day if you choose to make it one. I decided my new spring table needed some Jesus candles next to my Corona salt and pepper shakers. It’s the most Catholic thing you’ll see today. I bet Kruiser doesn’t have Jesus candles in his pantry. (I buy them in bulk at Dollar Tree, ’cause why wouldn’t I?)

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I always thought the no-meat-on Fridays thing was optional, but Super Catholic Kruiser has informed me that I’m going straight to Purgatory for a long while with this attitude.

 

Enough about Kruiser’s beef with my Lenten habits. You’re here for what to read today. Let’s get to it.

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Missouri Court Corruption You Won’t Believeor you will because I’ve been harping on it for three years now.

Watch Kruiser Catholic Shame me on VIP Live Chat

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Schlichter: The 2024 GOP Primary’s Fredocon Lane

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St. Louis newspaper publishes response to gender clinic worker’s story

Strange turn in New York concealed carry case

 

Mailbag of Hate:

There has been a shocking lack of hate mail in my inbox at [email protected]. If I don’t start getting some soon, I’m going to start thinking I’m becoming too middle-of-the-road milquetoast. If I’m not pissing you off I’m literally failing. Where is the hate mail? What is this crap? This is what I get instead. Do better, people.

Dear Megan,

I love your writing so much. Just wanted to say I look forward to it. I am loving your coverage of the Idaho 4 case and can’t wait for the trial. Keep up the great work!

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This is unacceptable. I believe in your ability to hurl more insults my way. How am I supposed to keep up my tough exterior with this kind of unapologetic praise? Will anyone think of me? I have to survive on social media. Do you know what it’s like there?

via GIPHY

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