Joe Biden's big memoir rollout was supposed to be a moment of triumph. Instead, we got a horrible launch video that has become a punchline.
Biden posted a clip on social media announcing the forthcoming publication of Promise Me, America, due out November 17. His voice came out thick and muffled, and watching him struggle through it was almost painful.
And the reaction from the panel on Fox News’ The Five is totally worth watching.
“Have you pre-ordered your book?” co-host Jesse Watters asked.
"Obviously, yeah, and I got the giveaway Drool Pad that comes with every copy," Kennedy replied. From there, she went for the jugular. "This is going to be absolutely worthless. There are no Bidenites left in the world," she said. "Even Hunter isn't going to shell out $16.95 to read this." She argued the whole project was doomed because "it's not going to have anything of substance" and that Biden "should have been pushed out of the race months earlier and replaced with an actual primary and not the substandard Kamala Harris."
The only thing Democrats actually want to read about, Kennedy joked, is "the actual feuds with the Clintons and the Obamas and Nancy Pelosi. And, you know, Dr. Jill didn't write about stuff, and she should have. Everyone would have read that book. And if he were going to be bold and really cement his legacy, then, you know, through. This is the only time he will ever have to do that, and he has squandered an opportunity to be a really interesting person."
Dana Perino tried to play it straight, noting the release timing wasn't unusual. "It's actually a pretty traditional model for a former president," she said, pointing out that George W. Bush's memoir also came out after a midterm election, in 2010. But even Perino couldn't resist a jab. "What would have made sense is for the Democratic Committee to have raised enough money to have just given that to Joe Biden as a donation so that he didn't have to write this book," she said.
"I'm not going to buy the book, but I would buy the audio," Tyrus said, before tearing into the announcement video itself. "This is absolutely brutal," he said, marveling that the 20-second clip somehow packed in 35 cuts. He also couldn't get over Biden's favorite stump-speech line. "He says the same thing over and over again," Tyrus said. "He says 'Believe in America' because ‘I believe in the American people.’ If you believe in America — we're assuming it's not the physical ground — it's the people, like, it's just nonsense and shame on them for… Wow. He also said I wrote this book, Sir, sir.”
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Jessica Tarlov tried to play defense and mostly failed. "The video did bum me out," she said. "He's sick, he has cancer, he's talking about how he's been undergoing treatment. I hope that the prognosis is good." When Watters asked her to name an actual Biden accomplishment, the best she could offer was the "fastest recovery from COVID of all the G7s.”
Then Kennedy pointed out that more people died from COVID on Biden’s watch than on Trump’s watch. But she also spoke to the broader point about Tarlov’s excuse-making for Biden. "Ulysses S. Grant wrote his memoir while he was dying of cancer, and it is considered one of the most scintillating presidential memoirs ever in the history of our country," she said.
"This is going to be absolutely worthless."
— The Five (@TheFive) July 16, 2026
President Autopen is writing a book... "The Five" reacts. pic.twitter.com/RpxN7C6YbX
Tarlov closed with an appeal for sympathy, saying it "would behoove people to be a little bit kinder to an older person who has served the country for a very long time and who is sick." Nah. After all the damage he did to this country, he deserves no sympathy.
Editor’s Note: The 2026 Midterms will determine the fate of President Trump’s America First agenda. Republicans must maintain control of both chambers of Congress.
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