Should Christians Attend Same-Sex Weddings?

AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster

So imagine that you're a conservative evangelical Christian or a traditional Catholic, and a nephew invites you to attend his upcoming wedding. And oh, by the way, he will be standing at the altar with another man.

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Do you go?

That question presents a huge dilemma for many followers of Jesus Christ, who said that marriage consists solely of one man and one woman, united for life, for the purpose of raising a family while cherishing one another.

Do you, by attending such a ceremony, thereby lend support to a practice that you view as fundamentally un-biblical and therefore sinful? Are you, by not attending, correctly demonstrating what Jesus meant when He said we should "love one another"?

What if you are the only one in your family who objects to such ceremonies? Are you prepared for the harsh criticism that will follow from within and without your family, including accusations that you are being judgmental or hypocritical?

And we haven't even mentioned the fact the issue will likely continue painfully to persist after the ceremony is performed, with or without your presence, when you learn the nephew and his spouse will soon visit your home for an overnight stay.  

There were nearly 750,000 same-sex couple households in 2022, according to Statista, with 348,300 of those having been officially married and the remainder simply living together.

It is impossible to know with any certainty how many of those 348,300 ceremonies saw at least some invited guests not attending because their faith precluded it. But with support among regular (once-a-week) church attenders for same-sex marriage hovering around 41%, odds are there were a great many.

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Another reason to think there were many is the fact the Colson Center's latest "What Would You Say" video series addresses this question head-on and offers three solid reasons why the answer to the question in the headline should be no. I doubt the Colson folks would be doing so in the absence of becoming aware of such controversies.

You can watch the highly recommended 8:27 video that I posted earlier today on HillFaith

My own view is that I would not attend a same-sex marriage ceremony and here is why: Jesus said we should "render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God's." (That, by the way, is the foundational principle behind the separation of church and state).

God's Word says that marriage is exclusively between a man and a woman. The state saying that marriage is also between two individuals of the same sex does not make it so for a born-again Christian.

As Peter and the other apostles said when the authorities ordered them to stop preaching that Jesus had been resurrected on the third day after His unlawful crucifixion and death, His followers should "obey God rather than men."

It is the same as it was for, to cite just one historical example, Thomas More, who, because of his faith, could not sign a document expressing public support for King Henry VIII's headship of the Church of England. If you've never seen "A Man For All Seasons," with Paul Scofield playing More, I strongly encourage you to make time to do so, as it is a phenomenally well-acted, deeply thoughtful cinematic experience that brings issues of conscience to a fine point.

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Sure, More could have signed the document and lived, knowing full well that in his heart he opposed it, just as I could attend the ceremony while keeping my opposition to myself, but that would have rendered his faith and mine meaningless and irrelevant in the daily conduct of life.

True, nobody is demanding "Off with his head!" or forcing believers like me to attend ceremonies that violate our First Amendment-protected right to practice and express our faith. But it is quite reasonable to envision a time when the Left will make it a "hate crime" to decline the invitation to a same-sex wedding ceremony or otherwise denigrate the same-sex marriage law.

No doubt there are at least a few reading this now who recall the scene in the More film with Thomas Cromwell jesting to the Duke of Ellington about the dangerous presence of spies for the government, and saying "Good God, man, this isn't Spain!" But it might as well have been.

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