Not Enough Sex? Stop Having Threesomes With the Government

Everyone who has tried them tells me threesomes are difficult. And anyone can imagine that threesomes with the government are the most difficult of all. Suddenly it’s no longer a matter of whose elbow is in whose eye, but a matter of whose legal rights are getting stripped, which way the courts lean, and who is likely to lose his parental privileges and, likely, his liberty or at the very least his wealth.

Which is why I find it absurdly rich of CNN (All the News Fit to Fake) to wonder why American couples are having less sex than they were 20 years ago.

The article disingenuously roots around for an answer (so to put it, to coin a phrase) and comes up with several. It’s not that they’re wrong – precisely – it’s more that they determinedly ignore what is at the back of those obvious causes of the – ah – dry spell enveloping Americans.

Parents also seem to be much more involved with their children's lives than in the past. "Parents are constantly driving their children to school and extracurricular activities," said Amanda Pasciucco, a licensed marriage and family therapist. In previous years, children had more freedom and fewer organized activities, which meant more free time for their parents.

Eric Marlowe Garrison, a certified sexuality counselor, agreed. "We're seeing more helicopter parenting, which is zapping energy that could go toward sex and other sensual activities."

Yeah. I’m the first one to condemn helicopter parents. To a great extent, we tried to raise our kids as free range as possible, including providing our 10-year-old with a walkie-talkie (our money didn’t run to cell phones back then) and allowing him to roam wild and wooly in downtown Colorado Springs. Okay, not so wild and wooly, but wild and wooly enough to allow him to hit the gaming/comics store and the coffee shop/sandwich shop on his own.

There is only one problem with that. In those long-ago halcyon days, now 12 years in the past, we hadn’t anticipated cases like the mother whose parental rights got curtailed for allowing her child to play in the park, or the parents brought into family court for allowing their children to walk home from school unaccompanied. Which we also did, I must confess, from first grade on, for each kid.

Had we known our children might be removed from our custody for allowing them any autonomy or self-responsibility, even we would have been hesitant to do it. After all, we were scared to leave the children under fourteen alone in the house for any length of time, because a couple in Colorado had gotten in trouble for doing so.

Are parents exhausted? Indubitably. But that’s because, from telling us we can’t slap the little darlings on the behind (and confusing that with child abuse) to telling us we have to watch them every waking minute, the government has become a demanding third parent -- a parent who obligates parents to spring for organized activities and licensed watchers, instead of raising their kids like previous generations were raised.

"We don't know if indeed the 'marriage advantage' is now a 'disadvantage,'" said Debby Herbenick, president of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, "in part because so many other things have changed about sex and health in America in recent decades, including far more Americans taking medications with sexual side effects,

Yeah. And despite the medications mentioned in the next chapter, let’s remember a lot of the medications that interfere with sex and sexual desire are in fact prescribed for various psychological conditions.

As for the why of psychological conditions, let me see: courts incredibly biased in favor of women in both custody and divorce proceedings have made a mockery of the “equal rights” of a couple. At the same time, everything from entertainment to the news to political campaigns (I’m looking at you Hillary) has managed to turn American women into the unhappiest, most privileged and dissatisfied minority in the world.

American women who are favored in everything from hiring to promotion to marriage to—well, everything – due to subtle and blunt governmental pressure, are daily bombarded with the idea they’re downtrodden, mistreated, and live in a patriarchy. And no matter how hard those of us who grew up abroad roll our eyes, some number of them will believe it.

Obviously, CNN has no idea why this type of disparate treatment and gaslighting should interfere in the intimate relationships between human beings.

The rest of us have a brain.

[F]ar more Americans dealing with chronic health conditions -- like diabetes -- known to affect sex, and millions more Americans surviving cancer -- which is wonderful -- but often with sexual side effects from cancer treatments. An important question for future research would be, all else being equal (including health status), how does marital status relate to people's sex lives?"

Well, there is the fact that in the last 20 years the population of the U.S. has aged. The median age for 2017 is 37.9 years, as compared to the median age in 1997 which was 33.8.

I know the difference might not seem like much to you, but for a population to “age” that much in median age over the last twenty years means a much larger percentage are, in fact, survivors of cancer, or living with diabetes, or cardiac patients, or afflicted with other maladies of old age.

I’m not resentful of anyone not dying young – trust me, I’m looking at the downslope of fifty really close and personal-like here. But I’m noting that for a population to age that significantly, it means that not enough babies are being born.

Is the sole reason for this that the government has stuck its big nose in between couples and in between couples and their children? No, but it is a not insignificant contributor.

After that, CNN blames that favorite whipping boy (in a non-fun way) of every liberal: technological progress. (I swear, scratch a “progressive” and you find a Luddite every time.)

"In the age of Tinder, people are having more cybersex," Pasciucco explained.

"Sexting and sending photos is rampant," she said, "and I have heard more and more people reporting to me that they send nude photos to people they've never met -- and never intend to meet!"

Francie L. Stone, a clinical psychologist, has observed similar behaviors. "In speaking with young women and men, it seems (they use) dating and hookup apps more as a way to affirm themselves. The women in particular say that they use these apps when they are drunk or bored. They never meet up and have no intention to; they just enjoy the sexual banter. They're using it as a replacement for 'real-life' sex and to explore their own sexuality, what they may like and what they may not like, all in the safety of their own environment."

Of course, they prefer the safety of their environment. And you know what part it is that makes their own environment feel “safe”?  It’s that women aren’t going out into what they’ve been told is a rape culture, and men, particularly men in college – the prime reproductive age – don’t have to deal with kangaroo courts and mattress girls should their partners decide that the sex wasn’t entirely to their satisfaction and thereby retroactively withdraw consent and claim they were raped. Do you blame them? When public officials and the cultural power structures spend so much time convincing both sexes the other is out to get them, we should thank our lucky stars some young people are still willing to risk sex, despite everything.

Then CNN goes full derp. Something moving at the back of its consciousness tells it that we are all whispering the truth, and therefore they decide to come in solidly on the side of progressive angels:

Is less sex really a bad thing?

"As a certified sex therapist, I am more concerned with the type of sex -- is it intense on an emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual level? -- than I am on the number of times per week," Pasciucco said.

In fact, the drop in sex might be the result of culture shifts and female empowerment, explained Margie Nichols, a psychologist.

Compared with earlier generations, women might be viewing sex as less of a duty to their husbands and more of a personal choice. "It makes sense that women in relationships might be losing their sex drive and saying 'no' more, as opposed to my mother's generation that just spread their legs and composed a shopping list in their heads during sex," she said. "If that's true, then the decline in frequency is a good thing."

CNN is obviously not home to many long-term married couples. It is almost impossible to keep a relationship healthy if neither of you does what you aren’t particularly inclined to do at any time. Also, apparently this psychologist has never heard that women crave intimacy and men crave sex. Yes, it’s a gross generalization but generally true.

When you encourage women to block out the one form of intimacy their husbands crave, what you end up with is men who shutter themselves emotionally.

We’re not far distant from great apes for all of the progressives trying to re-engineer us. A female who is not receptive to her mate is denying her relationship at a deep, abiding level.

No, we’re not talking here about marital rape. Yep, any man who would force himself on a woman – even his wife – when she is ill or very angry is not a decent human being. But a woman who consistently denies her husband for no better reason than that she doesn’t feel like it is an infantile narcissist, incapable of building a healthy relationship.

What’s more, she’s exactly the type of woman the government propagandists (many of them in the grip of the anti-human zero-population growth craze) encourage, on purpose or not.

Female empowerment is all very well. Male self-protection is all very well. But if the government continues encouraging the war between men and women, particularly in the younger population groups, the end result is no children. At the end of this insanity lies a median age of 66 or more, as society is beggared to keep us all on life support.

None of the science fiction writers of the past would have believed it, but our government and culture have done the impossible: stopped humans from wanting to reproduce.

CNN enjoins with mealy-mouthed virtue:

On that note, remember, a healthy sex life is whatever works for you and your partner. It can't be measured by a statistic.

Indeed, but you know what is measured by a statistic? Marriage and birth rates. And the figures aren’t good.

It’s time to kick the government out of bed. It’s time for men and women together to try to relate without all the intrusive, ridiculous rules and regulations.

It worked for millennia, it will work now.

Besides, the government has both elbows in both of your eyes. And he’s eaten all the cookies and is dropping crumbs all over your nice sheets.

Kick him out and go have fun with your lover.