Deep Impact: Manatee Dies After Love Scrum

Cincinnati Zoo via AP

Let’s see how many naughty-but-not-sounding movies title I can fit into this story of Hugh the manatee who died after a sexual encounter some afternoon delight with his big brother, Buffett.

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Fast and furious

A report from employees at Sarasota’s Mote Marine Laboratory and Aquarium revealed Hugh died after “sexual behavior” that “continued throughout the day with periods of rest between high-intensity interactions and occasional penetration.”

The same folks revealed that Hugh “served as an ambassador for his species, and routinely and voluntarily took part in manatee research studies.”

FACT-O-RAMA! It was not made clear how a manatee “volunteers” for research studies.

According to the folks at the aquarium, it’s not unusual for this kind of behavior to take place, though they did note this was “the first time such heightened mating behavior was witnessed between the two manatees.”

And apparently, the 38-year-old Hugh was consenting — for several months — as the statement revealed.

“Hugh and Buffett were both observed initiating and mutually seeking interactions from each other throughout the day and there were no obvious signs of discomfort or distress such as listing, crunching, or active avoidance that would have triggered a need for intervention,” the statement continued.

Separation anxiety

The aquarium officials decided — at the advice of veterinarians — not to separate the brotherly lovers. Past experience has proven — as their statement details — that dividing the two had  “previously caused undue anxiety and negative effects in both manatees.”

PACKED-O-RAMA! “Elvira” aka Cassandra Peterson once required a hospital visit after a consensual rendevous with singer Tom Jones.

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The aquarium officials chose “positive reinforcement tools such as high-value rewards and enrichment” to “redirect the manatees’ attention and decrease undesirable behaviors” instead.

Aquarium officials noticed a change in Hugh’s behavior the day he passed and began to monitor him more closely.

An investigation showed Hugh had a 5.7-inch tear in his colon. A full necropsy is scheduled to determine the cause of death, but the results will not likely be known for eight weeks.

“Hugh, and his brother Buffett, are the world’s only manatees to participate in voluntary, detailed behavioral research designed to aid manatee conservation,” the aquarium detailed in a post on its Facebook page. “Hugh’s indelible and lasting legacy will be one of an invaluable contribution to the scientific understanding of manatee behavior and contributions to the conservation of his species.”

There’s that word “voluntary” again.

A week before Hugh’s passing, The Mote Marine Laboratory and Aquarium was inspected by the USDA and labeled as a “gold standard for animal health and well-being.”

A clever commenter from the New York Post exclaimed, “Oh the Hugh Manatee!”

Well done!

Rest easy, Hugh.

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