Never Forget Some of the Dumbest Covid Restrictions

AP Photo/Evan Vucci

The holidays are looming, and that means several things: meals with family, cocktail nights by a cozy fire, and the Democrat Party pushing commie control on Americans for the third year in a row.


Temperatures have just begun to drop, and President Biden is already pimping for his pharma-bros.

If you think the donkeys won’t try to enforce more of their bolshie cowplop restrictions, I suggest you invest in the new, hot cryptocurrency, “KDJ Coin.”

SMALL PRINT-O-RAMA! All capital invested in “KDJ Coin” will go to bourbon and cigars.

We survived some shockingly stupid COVID-19 flapdoodle, as did people around the world. All for a virus that more than 99% of Americans would survive.

Related: Reasons Never to Vote Democrat Again, Vol. I: COVID Tyranny Must Be Punished

FACT-O-RAMA! The globalists in the Democrat Party found out in May 2020 that 84% of COVID hospitalizations were from people who were locked down but stole our liberties anyway in the name of “science.”

A man was actually arrested for paddleboarding alone on the ocean after some lickspittle saw him and called the cops. If only we were as smart as the French.


Grinded me with science

We were subjected to mountains of stupidity disguised as “science” by people with big titles and fancy diplomas on their walls. Here are a few of the classics. May we never forget the mental vacancy these people pushed upon us and never allow it to happen again.

Battle of the grocery stores

The libs made it seem like grocery stores were an orgy of Bat Stew Flu germs predatorily resting on produce or boxes of coffee K-Cups, waiting to pounce on the unsuspecting shopper and perhaps give them the sniffles.

High-ranking jackpuddings in New York state threw together a list of science-dodging conditions that they deemed necessary to save lives at the grocery store. Today, these protocols seem as stupid as treating asthma with cigarettes, but I recall terrified Pop-Tart shoppers excoriating me for defying the one-way aisles.

Who can forget:

  • Standing on stickers on the floor.
  • One family member shopping at a time.
  • Wash your produce you filthy, granny-killing germ mule!

FACT-O-RAMA! The Buffalo Bills’ Cole Beasley, unvaccinated and COVID-free, was forced to quarantine after coming into contact with a vaccinated coach who tested positive for the Hong Kong Fluey.


We were led to believe that COVID devoured maskless people walking to their tables but showed mercy on partons as they were sitting. Apparently, COVID also preferred to hunt at night as New York restaurants were forced to close at 10 p.m. Being the jackanape that I am, I was admonished on Thanksgiving 2021 when I selfishly walked 27 steps (yes, I counted) from my table to the men’s room sans a Fauci face diaper. A safely sitting, bootlicking patron and a waiter jumped down my throat for my malfeasance. I no longer spend my currency at this establishment.


Kids and COVID

Children took a real beating during the pandemic, especially considering that so few kids actually died from China’s virus. Skate parks were filled with sand. Playgrounds were closed. Basketball rims were taken down or covered.

Kids in Portland, Ore., were introduced to some serious commie dystopian nonsense and forced to eat lunch outside, sitting on buckets, in cold weather. You know, for their own safety.

School officials actually put their hollow heads together and came up with this:

By now you may be thinking, “Come on, KDJ. Our nation would never go back to that nonsense. Our elected leaders and medical heavyweights have learned from their mistakes.”

But then we remember how Dr. Fauci, America’s highest-paid ogre, started chirping about another lockdown back in March of 2022. A portion of China has just reached its 100th day of a brutal lockdown.


One Merry Andrew from the New York Post is half-jokingly hoping for another freedom-stealing lockdown but recalled how wonderful the first one was.

And to be honest, we failed to punish the globalists who robbed us of our liberties in the midterm elections. Sure, monkeypox fizzled, but the commies won’t stop. The Hill wrote about the possibility of a “climate lockdown” earlier this year. You know for the good of the planet.

These are just a few of the inane lockdown restrictions we endured. Please leave more in the comments section. Let’s start the conversation now and all agree that we don’t get fooled again.


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