Write for places like this long enough, and you're going to collect a bunch of one-liners like this. Possibly, this is a practical application for the infinite monkey and infinite typewriter theory. Reminds me of the old Bob Newhart thing.
So in the hopes of hitting something, here we go.
Martin Luther King, Jr. was a convicted felon. So too, was Nelson Mandela. Even Jesus Christ himself was a convicted criminal. Now you want to add Donald Trump? That’s interesting. Perhaps we should start asking who is doing the convicting, eh?
Obama made Americans buy health insurance that hasn’t worked. Biden made you take a shot or lose your job. Tell me again how Trump is a dictator.
Only in blue states can locking a cemetery gate be considered election interference.
Obama’s ICE chief was given an award for a massive level of deportations. Trump’s ICE chief gets called a Nazi for a massive level of deportations. Thing is, they’re the same guy… Tom Homan. Must be nobody on the left noticed, or perhaps they’d hope WE didn’t.
Funny thing; I’ve yet to see Minnesota parents complaining about losing their daycare center.
ICE is operating in all 50 states. The only place you hear about violent anti-ICE protests is Minnesota. Maybe ICE isn’t the problem.
Strange. The same people who have been telling us the US shouldn’t have border integrity are now saying Greenland should.
What really annoys the Democrats is that by a fairly wide margin, the American voters consider Democrats far worse than Trump.
Wrap your head around this... The Democrats are mad that ICE is using Medicaid data to arrest illegals after they told us illegals aren't on Medicaid.
Deporting someone isn’t a crime. It is what happens when the law is actually enforced.
You just never heard about these ICE protests until the fraud was uncovered.
From COVID to today, the Democrats have moved from “Snitch on your neighbor if you see him not wearing a mask,” to “I’m willing to die to protect my illegal neighbor.”
Let’s imagine for a moment that the Jewish people were eradicated from the whole planet. Not one left. Whom would the leftist bigots blame for their troubles?
Renee Good and Alex Pretti died for a cause they beloved in: keeping child rapists, drug dealers, and murderers from being arrested. You gotta believe in something, I guess.
So if taxes are the price you pay for a civilized society, why is it that the highest taxed areas of the country are so uncivilized?
Consider the irony of a party that uniformly can’t define what a woman is chastising the rest of us for “not being ready for a woman president.”
ICE shot 56 people during Obama’s presidency. You didn’t know because Democrats were in power.
Nothing funnier than seeing a bunch of Black Lives Matter morons getting arrested under the Klu Klux Klan act.
Sam Clemons once remarked: “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it." After watching the political spectrum for nearly 50 years, I’m convinced it is the latter of the two.
Look, I don’t like to brag, but I’ve already survived no less than nine ends of the world.
It occurs to me that women would be on the front lines, firearms in hand, protecting the border, if immigrants looked like Sydney Sweeney.
I’ve never been able to understand how my wanting to keep what I’ve earned is greed, but your wanting to steal what I’ve earned isn’t. I imagine that it’s possible that somebody someday might be able to explain it to me, but I tend to doubt it.
I demand reparations. No, I'm quite serious. It seems to me that anyone who voted for Biden owes me gas money. Food money. Money to cover the per mile tax that the Democrats are contemplating. And let’s not forget the added cost of ammunition.
It occurs to me that if a liar’s pants actually caught on fire, watching the news would be a great deal more enjoyable. Adam Schiff, particularly, would need specialized firefighting techniques.
