You don’t often hear much plain talk from politicians — unless they’re Donald Trump — but this Walton, Ky., mayor’s call to action for his town to rally against COVID-19 is one for the books. His constituents won’t likely forget his words for a very long time. Judging by the feedback he’s getting, that’s a certainty. Maybe they’ll even heed them.
Gabe Brown is the mayor of the bucolic town of approximately 4,000 people in northern Kentucky. He comes from a family that settled in the area in the 1700s. In his day job he works for Amazon in “Kindle diagnostics.” He’s a member of Sons of the American Revolution and was elected mayor in 2018. Cincinnati is the nearest big city, but now Brown’s an international “star.”
Mayor Brown wrote on his Facebook page that not only was he sick and tired of coronavirus conference calls, but he was also sick and tired of people pretending the disease is not a big deal. As the mayor wrote, “In fact, it’s a big f**cking deal. Stay at home.” And, “If you don’t like what I’m telling you, then go buy some toilet paper.”
Behold the message he wrote to his townspeople on his Facebook page. We have not censored this, so if you’re triggered by salty talk or collapse on your fainting couch and need a hanky and smelling salts at the notion of someone using the f-word as a noun, verb, and adverb, you’ll probably want to stop right here.
Read on:
Listen up dipshits and sensible people. I might not have the best bedside manor [sic]. I might not put you at ease like the Governor does, but I don’t care. You need to realize that this is a serious ordeal. In fact, it’s a big f**cking deal. Stay at home.
I didn’t give you information to induce panic. I gave you information, so that you’d be informed.
Maybe, just maybe, I am privy to information that you aren’t. I’m sorry for being the gossiping Mayor.
I’m tired of Covid-19 conference calls. I take 3 a day, plus one extra on the weekend with Kenton County. If you don’t like what I’m telling you, then go buy some toilet paper.
I pray every night that the State, County and region that I love with all of my heart will stop doing nonsensical things. Treat this seriously. If you don’t, then screw you (f#ck you is what I want to say, but I can’t).
This will pass. Take it seriously. It is here. Act like you have the virus and don’t spread it to other people. I have no doubt that it hasn’t already been here, but testing had been limited. More cases are coming. If you ignore this problem, the worst thing that could happen is that your mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles could die.
Be responsible. If you don’t, then screw you.
Warmest regards,
Mayor Gabe Brown
The hilarious message has been feted by fans and meme-makers alike. He told PJ Media that his “reviews” have “been mostly positive and to my surprise, I have received positive messages from all over the country and even some from other countries. I received one from Dubai this morning. Never thought I’d be a meme.”
I asked if he’d send me a couple. They’re pretty funny:
Mayor Gabe Brown
And one more just to show how well his profane message has been received.
Mayor Gabe Brown
I asked him if he’d heard from his pastor yet and he said he’d gotten none so far, but “I’m sure he’s praying for me, as I’m sure he always has.”
Brown apologized for using “the harsh language. Frankly, it’s beneath the mayor position and I know better, but … I’m happy to be the bad guy. Some people just need a kick in the proverbial pants.”
And if you don’t like what he has to say, then, as the mayor would say, with “warmest regards,” “then screw you (f#ck you is what I want to say, but I can’t).”
Don’t believe a mayor would strike such a tone? See it for yourself:
“Be responsible… if you don’t, screw you.”
Walton, KY Mayor Gabe Brown Ain’t playing!👇🏽 https://t.co/o0RXZjbYW1
— The Tennessee Holler (@TheTNHoller) March 24, 2020
Join the conversation as a VIP Member