Culture

COVID MELTDOWN: Hero Takes Bullhorn and Drops Some Lockdown Truth in the Costco Menswear Department

AP Photo/David Goldman, File)

It comes as a surprise to me, and probably most of you, that this story isn’t about me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been walking through a grocery store in the apocalyptic months of 2020, surrounded by the absurd reality of mask mandates with store employees barking at customers over the loudspeaker to “keep your mask over your nose!” and giant stickers yelling at me every few feet and clunky plexiglass barriers between me and the cashier. All while fighting with local Karens for the last roll of toilet paper. At times I have wanted to leap onto a conveyor belt and scream, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore!”

My only saving grace is that I don’t own a bullhorn (and probably never should because I’m certain to do what this man did).

 

This poor gentleman has had all he can take, and who can blame him? Aren’t we all tired of the arbitrary rules that only seem to affect struggling small businesses while big corporations (like Costco) are raking in the big bucks because they’re “essential”? Governors and mayors tell their subjects to stay home while they party — even outside the country.

I feel this guy on a deep level. And my whole family just contracted and recovered from COVID (despite following all recommended guidelines including masking and social distancing). It’s wasn’t fun, but what’s less fun is living like prisoners being barked at and ordered about by people who make $8 an hour for the rest of our damn lives. That’s worse than COVID, and I’m speaking from up-close and personal experience with the Chinese plague.

And so when I am out and about surrounded by what appear to be perfectly happy little subjects doing everything they’re told in the name of safety, I feel like I’m losing my mind and I’m going to have one of these epic meltdowns at any moment. Is there no abuse too terrible for some of you to object to? Do you have a line that can’t be crossed? Or is there anything a governor can order you to do that you won’t do? What is it? I’m desperate to know what would finally make you take off the mask and announce, “No more! Time’s up!” And how did we get to a place in America where the country is made up of a bunch of followers? I don’t get it. I just don’t know you people anymore.

My COVID Story: A Series of Unfortunate Events

Yes, there’s a virus and it sucks and no one knows anything about it other than it’s pretty survivable for most people. We know that total deaths for 2020 are on track to be about the same as 2018 and 2019. People die. But in order to try and save some arbitrary number of people from dying this year (instead of next), we’ve decided to stop living.

Life is now worse than death. Or do you enjoy watching your children suffer, separated from their classmates and sports, or watching your neighborhood full of restaurants die? Do you like getting kicked off the beach or getting arrested for playing at the park? Do you get your kicks from the destruction of the movie theater industry or enjoy the swan song of cities that will crumble? At least if I’m dead I won’t have to listen to another corporate sponsor spit out platitudes like “mask up!” or “we’re all in this together.” Seriously, kill me now.

Death is better than this “new normal.” Dr. Fauci just said we’ll be continuing to muzzle ourselves even after the vaccine! It’s never going to end. Don’t you feel it? Guess what’s happening in the UK? A NEW COVID STRAIN IS SWEEPING ENGLAND!!!! Fifteen days to slow the spread has become “however many days we tell you, peasant.”

This is it, folks. This is our new normal unless a whole bunch more of you start freaking out in the Costco by the frozen foods with a bullhorn. We have the ability to stop this and go back to normal whenever we find the courage to do it. How much longer is it going to take? Because I can’t take much more of this.

Want your freedoms back? Well, “First, you’ve got to get mad,” like the man at Costco.

 

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