Culture

2020 Has Fires, Nearly a War, UFOs, Plague, Economic Crisis and Murder Hornets. So Why Not Add 'Psychotic Attack Chicken'?

A chicken sits in an enclosure at a chicken farm in Gaesti, southern Romania, Friday, Aug. 11, 2017. The European Union said Friday that it plans to hold an extraordinary meeting late next month over a growing tainted egg scandal as it revealed that products contaminated with an insecticide have now spread to 17 countries.(AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda)

People in and near Walker, Ala., be aware of your surroundings at all times. There is a BOLO out for a crazed attack chicken.

It’s free-range and it’s very dangerous.

Witnesses told police the chicken had been spotted at the bank multiple times last week, approaching patrons at the ATM, chasing customers and even attempting to climb into cars in the drive-thru, according to the department’s post.

The Walker PD posted an alert about the bird on Facebook, but in a lost social media opportunity they will surely rue forever, they have failed to tweet about it.

Seriously. Come on, guys. Social media 101. Tweet about deranged attack birds of all kinds and in all circumstances.

BOLO: The Walker Police Department is asking for the public’s assistance in connection with an incident occurring Friday…

Posted by Walker Police Department on Saturday, May 2, 2020

Police were two minutes away when seconds counted.

That’s actually a pretty good response time. And their graphic choice is superb. It makes the chicken look more caring and compliant than crazy, but it’s still good. Very timely.

What are the odds this commando chicken is crossing the road to spread a new, killer strain of avian flu?

It’s 2020, man. Don’t rule anything out.

Anyway, Roll Tide.