West Coast, Messed Coast™ Update: 'First They Came for the Shower Heads...'

(AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian, File)

California owes not only the entire West Coast, Messed Coast™ a huge apology, but the entire country can now put that state’s map on the family dartboard and use it for target practice.

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First They Came For … 

California is home to the first city in the country to ban gas stoves and everything else natural gas in new construction. If Berkeley came to mind immediately, you win a Bic lighter. In 2019, Berkeley banned natural gas stoves and “natural gas infrastructure” because it’s a fossil fuel and works even when there are state-ordered brown-outs. Berkeley’s changes mean housing is even more expensive and city-dwellers are reliant upon the whims of Central Committee members who want to control your air conditioner in the sweltering heat.

As you are well aware, the West Coast, Messed Coast™ is the nation’s public policy Petrie dish where ill-conceived fads grow like a fungus into aspirational fuzzy thought bubbles by Central Committee bots who turn them into mandates. And they know better than you, so shut your pie hole, kulak.

These activists want government to stay out of their bedrooms, unless it involves children – looking at you, State Senator Scott Weirdo  – but careless Central Committee members think nothing of going into other rooms of your home, such as your kitchen.

The Biden administration floated the gas stove ban at the behest of California and the World Economic Forum – the Davos crowd.

As The Capitol Review highlighted, California’s been at the forefront of these ideas. “First they came for my shower head and I did nothing. Then they came for my light bulbs and I did nothing. Now they want my gas stove and … ” Steve Frank forgot to mention low-flow toilets.

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Water, Water, Everywhere and Nowhere to Put It

Here’s a reminder of what majoring in minors will get you. California has been so busy cutting off its meat, banishing cows for farting, killing jobs, and establishing itself as a sanctuary for illegal aliens, abortion seekers, and kids who want to run away from home and get sex change operations without telling their parents, that it forgot about water for people.  Pretty basic stuff. No new reservoirs have been built to collect the record rains and snowfall runoff in the Sierra that have wiped out the state’s drought. Well, that was the story earlier this week until The New York Times and other news outlets realized that if the drought were over because of rain, then that whole “man-made” climate catastrophe claim would be washed out to sea like the farmers’ water. Gee, if only they had more places to put water for people to use …

Worst Mother in the World Wants to Be Senator Bad Mom

California Congresswoman Katie Porter, who stole Karl Rove’s whiteboard act (he stole it from Glenn Beck) wants to replace Senator Dianne Feinstein and has a boffo idea. The woman who we reported in a previous West Coast, Messed Coast™ update convinced her “angry” nine-year-old that “the earth is on fire” and “we’re all going to die soon” wants to pass a law against excess rain when she’s elected senator.

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Hey, What About Us?

It is true that most populated cities along the Interstate 5 corridor up and down the West Coast, Messed Coast™ receive the bulk of our attention.

Andrew from Spokane, Wash., was peculiarly peeved that I had not included news of a man who locals call “Lyin’ Clyde” in the update and why I haven’t featured his fine city. Indeed, I have remedied this oversight in a separate piece about Whidbey Island’s newest lying liar in public office. The bread to your butter. The peas to your carrots. The Democrats’ George Santos, “Lyin’ Clyde” Shavers. It’s an extraordinary story and you’ll want to read it. 

Related: Meet ‘Lyin’ Clyde’ Shavers, the Democrat ‘George Santos’

Andrew’s fine city also gets a shout-out because I’ve been meaning to highlight the efforts by the city and leftists to shut down Spokane’s Church of Planned Parenthood, a real church that meets across the street from the abortion mill. Look for that feature in the near future.

And finally, Andrew, who took my advice recently and emailed me tips at [email protected], wrote that Spokane, like other West Coast, Messed Coast™ cities, is experiencing an outbreak of whackadoodledoo by drug-addled people, and those who are sick of drug-addled people “living” on the streets. To wit:

On 12/17/22 SPD officers responded to 3 separate assaults involving 5 victims.  The first took place … when a man walked up to 2 women who were sitting on the ground, sprayed them with bear spray, kicked them in the head, and walked off.  […]Not long after this attack, 2 people sitting outside a business …were both punched in a similar unprovoked manner. Later the same day, a woman standing outside a store … was also sprayed with bear spray then kicked without warning or provocation. Several days later … a man in a bathroom of a store … was punched and hit with a hammer in another random attack.

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The local police did arrest one man for all the attacks. Who knows if he’s still in jail. We’ll keep up with this one.

Though Washington has done all it can to encourage drug-addled people to participate in the open-air drug markets and fentanyl flats throughout the state, Spokane included, the state’s me-too governor, Jay Inslee, proposes the state spend $4 billion to solve homelessness. It seems to me that if he quit office, the homeless issue could be solved for a lot less money.

Aunt Emma Is Over by the Tomatoes

Washington’s legislatures clocked in for business this week for the first time since 2020. And among the ideas in the hopper was one by state Rep. Jim Walsh, a Republican,  to allow people to bury their loved ones in their backyards as a cheaper alternative. He says the idea was brought to him “by some tribal members of his district and is an important part of allowing people the right to use their private land for such an intimate and personal family ritual.”

And finally for this week, “Dirty Jobs” star Mike Rowe’s heart may swell with pride over news that Washington State Republicans have offered a bill to start two regional apprenticeship programs to offer high school students another path to success. The bill’s sponsor, Rep. Jacquelin Maycumber, says that “kids need hope when they leave high school. Not everyone’s going to college.” Many Democrats have signed on to her bill.

And in Oregon, Measure 110, a measure to decriminalize hard drugs passed by voters in 2020, is working as planned.

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Until next week’s West Coast, Messed Coast™ update, watch your step. It could be a needle … or a body.

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