We Mock to Survive
The Week Four WuFlu Wind-Down finds us all heading into an online Easter weekend that is going to require a little adjustment. And when I say “adjustment,” I mean “alcohol.” Well, that’s what I’ve been using for adjustment, anyway.
The three-note news cycle — virus, economy, and awful media — continues unabated.
There was, however, a weird twist on the Wuhan Chinese Bat Flu saga that bears mentioning, if only for the slight change of pace.
Treacher had a hilarious bit of reportage yesterday about China’s agricultural ministry giving the country’s dogs an upgrade from livestock to pets:
Last week I told you how the Chinese city of Shenzen is reacting to the breakout of
COVID-19 the Chinese virus by banning the consumption of cats and dogs. I also told you how racist it is to talk about Chinese people eating cats and dogs, because it relies on the racist assumption that every single Chinese person in the world eats cats and dogs. Some of them don’t, you racist!
I was very disappointed in the racist decision-making process of Shenzen’s municipal government. You’d wouldn’t think Chinese people could ever be so racist against Chinese people. But now the racism is spreading even faster than the virus.
Jane Li & Mary Hui, Quartz:
In a newly published list of animals categorized as livestock in China, the country’s agriculture ministry made a surprising announcement… dogs are no longer to be treated as mere livestock, but as loyal companions.
“Alongside the development of human civilization and the public’s care toward protecting animals, dogs have now evolved from being traditional livestock to companion animals,” the notice dated April 8 read (link in Chinese)…
Around 10 million dogs and four million cats are estimated to be slaughtered and eaten in China every year, according to Hong Kong-based animal welfare group Animals Asia, but the practice is coming under increasing criticism from the country’s growing ranks of pet lovers.
I encourage you to read the whole post because Treacher doesn’t waste a word in his satirical takedown.
As I wrote last week, I am more than comfortable with saying all of the bad things about China now. Cultural sensitivity be damned. Commies lied, people died. So yeah, I will ridicule their bat, cat, and dog-eating ways, all the while advocating for a painful but necessary economic breakup with the ChiComs.
I celebrate Canine Emancipation Day in China, thrilled for the nation’s pups.
My cat, however, is curious about his cousins’ status over there.
This Will Be Everyone by the End of Next Week
A Round of Appreciative Applause Is in Order
My latest column: MSNBC’s Chris Hayes Has the Coldest Hot Takes in All of Liberal Hackdom
Not unhinged at all. Woman Who Claims to Be a Nurse Threatens to Withhold a Ventilator From Trump Supporters
UPDATE: Pence Reverses Course, Allows Coronavirus Task Force Members To Appear on CNN
ENDORSED. It Begins: Japan Budgets to Help Firms Pull Manufacturing Out of China
The last thing this plague needs is restricted access to booze. World’s Worst Mayor Slaps 9 PM Curfew on Chicago Liquor Sales for No Reason
Schumer is human garbage. Here We Go Again: Dems Hold Paycheck Protection Bill Hostage for Politicians’ Perks
Who Is WHO Director Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus?
Dr. Fauci Cuts COVID-19 Death Projection Almost in Half From Just 10 Days Ago
Throw the fascist cops that did it off the force. Colorado Police ‘Deeply Sorry’ for Arresting Father Caught Playing Ball With His Daughter In an Empty Park
Uh-Oh. South Korea Reports That Coronavirus ‘Reactivates’ in Some Patients Thought Cured
VodkaPundit: Ocasio-Cortez Faces Well-Financed Challenger in June Democratic Primary
WATCH: Police Slap Christians With $500 Fines for Attending Drive-In Worship Service
Passover in the Time of COVID-19
Our Hope in Christ’s Victory Over Death
Me: ‘Alexa, What’s My Analprint?’: Welcome to the Disease-Detecting ‘Smart Toilet’
5 Things Need to Happen Before America Reopens, Say Heritage Coronavirus Commissioners
AG Barr Warns of ‘Slippery Slope’ Away from Civil Liberties After ‘Draconian’ COVID-19 Measures
Bernie Spox: The DNC Might Be Plotting To Swap Out Biden, You Know
From the Mothership and Beyond
Bonus Schlichter: Economic Illiterates Are Running Amok
#Priorities. Bloomberg: Hard-won plastic bag bans are at risk of being overturned due to coronavirus
WaPo contributor checks out how the COVID-19 pandemic is going on Earth 2 with President Hillary Clinton
Boris Johnson is out of the ICU, and Comfortably Smug has started a meme party to celebrate
Dick’s Sporting Goods Furloughs Most Employees
VA Del. Nick Freitas Is Making The Argument For 2A Rights
Carville: November Will Be A Democratic Wipeout After This Coronavirus Fiasco — If We Get A Level Playing Field
Say it with me: Enemy of the People. Harris Poll Shows Broad Bipartisan Consensus On China’s Lying About COVID-19 — So Why Does Media Use Their Data?
Sweden’s Coronavirus Approach Is Starting To Look Like A Mistake
In Iran, 600 Have Died From Drinking Pure Alcohol To ‘Cure’ The Coronavirus
Fauci: We Could Still Save The Summer If We Take Care Of The COVID-19 Shark Now
No. NY Times: Now Is The Time To Feel The Bern And Embrace ‘Activist Government’
DoorDash will cut commissions by 50 percent for local restaurants through the end of May
Disney+ surpasses 50 million subscribers in just 5 months
That’s What Dennis Quaid Gets for Praising Trump
CNN Discovers There’s A Price to Pay for Not Airing Trump’s Wuhan Coronavirus Pressers
California Sees First Decrease in Number of ICU Hospitalizations
CNN Runs Interference for Senate Dems After Blocking Paycheck Protection Funding
Here’s Chris Van Hollen Complaining He Had to Come Back to the Senate to Vote on More PPP Funding
Survey Shows Overwhelming Majority of Doctors Would Prescribe Hydroxychloroquine to a Family Member With Wuhan Coronavirus
Cue the Liberal Implosion: Trump Has Highest Approval of His Presidency
New Trump Ad Ties Biden to China, Corruption, Lies, and Dementia in One Short Minute
James Woods Calls out Liberal Commentator for Bizarre Rant Against Employers Forced to Lay off Workers
Wuhan Virus Numbers: Nightly Update April 9, 2020-As Of 2359GMT
Alyssa Milano Urges Americans To Keep Safe By Not Buying Guns Amid COVID-19 Outbreak. But There’s A Problem.
Coronavirus After-Effects: 5 Habits I Think I’ll Keep
Bomb China. China Restricted Travel on Hubei to Prevent Spread to Rest of China, But Let People Fly to Rest of the World
New Study Seeks to Determine if California Had “Herd Immunity” From Early Coronavirus Exposure
Trump officials hint at reopening parts of economy in May
Mad magazine was my boyhood jam. Mort Drucker Dies: Famous Fans Post Favorites From Mad Magazine TV & Movie Caricaturist
For thousands, coronavirus delays reception into Catholic Church
All three of my satire faves had home runs and I couldn’t pick one.
Smells Like Onion
The Kruiser Kabana
There are a couple of really good moments in this one.
Week 4 wrap-up: I wonder if beer, jalapeños, and cheesecake are a good breakfast combo?
PJ Media Senior Columnist and Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”