Whale Corpses Are Stacking Up But the Libs Won't Talk About What Might Be Killing Them

I was recently in New Jersey, enjoying a Chik-fil-A sandwich, sucking a cup of diet soda pop through a detestable paper straw, and reading about the tenth dead whale to wash up on a Long Island or New Jersey shore when I was blasted with a 50,000-watt bolt of liberal irony.

The pink-haired dime museums on the left canceled plastic straws when one was found in the nose of a living sea turtle, but they haven’t made a peep about the erasure of the whales.

WARNINGS- FOUL LANGUAGE and a CRANKY SEA TURTLE

Perhaps the turtle accidentally inhaled the straw. Or maybe the straw was purposely put there by the turtle itself after a raucous night with this turtle:

The U.S. Coast Guard found a turtle with $53 million worth of cocaine strapped to itpic.twitter.com/M2n6r5uawL

— Pubity (@PubityIG) January 21, 2023

Either way, the left pooped their non-binary panties and decided straws had to go. The straw crusaders hit the streets and straw justice was done.

FACT-O-RAMA! Once upon a time, medical needles were washing up on New Jersey shores and the leftists squealed. Today it’s dead whales, and the libs are quiet.

Major companies and even several states — like New Jersey — banned the dreaded turtle-killing annoying plastic straws and forced the decomposable and foul-tasting paper slurpers on us.

FACT-O-RAMA! Paper straws suck.

All of this hoopla over one live turtle with one straw in its schnoz. Yet the turtle-huggers don’t seem to care that ten dead whales have washed up, some on New Jersey beaches and some on Long Island, N.Y. Another was spotted by a ship off the Jersey coast.

Why are whales dying in record numbers and — just as importantly — why are the deodorant-dodging hippies not talking about the whale-ocaust? Why haven’t they banned … something … to save the whales? Do turtles have a better publicist?

STINK-O-RAMA! Ambergris is smelly whale vomit and a word I frequently use to refer to lefties.

A whale washed up near the southern Jersey town of Brigantine, near where geotechnical surveying of wind farm leases has been taking place. In fact, a lot of the dead whales have washed up suspiciously close to the sites of future windmill farms in both New York and New Jersey.

But windmills are going to save the planet, right? The lefty nature harpies took to the streets to ban straws but don’t seem to want to discuss the very real likelihood that the vibrations from the windmill-industrial complex are killing the humpbacks.

The Communist New Network (CNN) was quick to dispel the notion that their beloved wind turbines — or rather, the sonar used to help build their fields — were causing the carnage. They even went so far as to suggest that — you guessed it — “climate change and warming oceans” are bringing the whales into shipping lanes where they are slaughtered like groundhogs on the highway.

Related: Are Whales Being Threatened by a Biden Energy Project?

As PJ media’s own Lincoln Brown pointed out in the above article, the whales have found friends in the Republican party. Rep. Jeff Van Drew (R-N.J.) wants the surveying stopped until we know whether or not it is the cause of the current whale-cide.

I grabbed this from Lincoln’s report:

Meghan Lapp of Seafreeze fisheries told Tucker Carlson:

I can’t authoritatively say that all of the whales that are washing up are because of offshore wind farms. But what I can tell you is that the seven whales that washed up off New Jersey in the past month have all washed up during intense geotechnical surveying of wind farm leases off of New Jersey. On the East Coast, there has been an unusual mortality event for humpback whales from 2016 until now. The only thing that has changed in the ocean in that time is the fact there have been offshore wind surveys occurring from 2015 until now. Now, magically there are a bunch of humpback whales dying.

I would think ten dead whales washing up in close proximity, with another spotted by a passing ship, would have the hirsute dirt-worshippers in berserk mode, but all I hear are crickets. It seems the enviro-doom cheerleaders are obediently quiet when it comes to the possibility that their beloved wind farm technology is killing the biggest mammals on the planet along the shores of New Jersey and New York.