I refuse to count our House and Senate seats before they hatch. But if we all vote and there is minimal cheating, it looks like the Republicans are going to be enjoying a cigar on the 2022 battlefield, looking over the smoldering corpses of the Democrat political forces while singing the “Battle Hymn of the Republic”.
And naturally, Democrats will have to address their loss. Whenever a football team loses, for example, the coach is pulled in front of the cameras and expected to explain what went wrong.
FACT-O-RAMA! I am from Detroit and I’ve seen more than my fair share of Lions coaches fall on their swords. I mean, for 50 years and counting.
As with every loss, fingers will be pointed and answers will be demanded. Will the Democrats admit their thug-hugging, soft-on-crime flapdoodle was part of the problem? Will they accept that blindly trusting Dr. Tony “I am science” Fauci lead the nation to near ruin? Will they throw Joe “totally showered with his daughter” Biden under the bus and install Kamala what’s-her-face as the new Diversity Hire-in-Chief?
I suspect Karine Jean-Pierre is already being coached on how to handle the carnage of Election Day.
Related: Behold the Democrats’ Closing Argument for the 2022 Midterm Election
Historically, the left has blamed their agonies of defeat on anything but themselves. George W. Bush allegedly won because of the “bubba vote,” which was magically nowhere to be found when a black guy with the middle name Hussein won twice. I guess those racist “bubbas” were swamp huntin’ during those elections? Or maybe, just maybe, the left hates taking responsibility so much that they invented legions of phantom redneck voters, because they can’t accept that there are no participation trophies after elections.
PREDICTION-O-RAMA! “Transphobia” will somehow be a culprit in the 2022 liberal massacre next week. It always is.
Right now, I’m seeing the left put two excuses out there to ripen; voter oppression and scary guys (probably feds) in tactical vests watching ballot boxes.
The voter oppression angle is a joke. Georgia — where Joe Biden claims the new election laws are Jim Crow 2.0, “Jim Eagle,” or some lame-ass phrase President Sugar Cone tried to coin — is showing record early turnout. But I expect the one-two-noodle punch of “voter oppression-systemic racism” to fly vomitously out of the mouth of a yet-again soundly defeated Stacy Abrams as she continues her Detroit Lions-like record of defeat. (Yes, I am bitter about football, and no, I can’t let it go.)
I highly recommend peacefully watching ballot boxes from a legally acceptable vantage point. But rather than wear a tactical vest, I suggest dressing like a drag queen. If a man in a dress is good enough to entertain our kids, he’s good enough to watch a fair election, right? Check-mate, lib-dolts. Eat my tucking shorts.
Election Deniers
The commies like to pretend Trump invented election denial but that’s just not reality. Roll the tape.
The best part of that video is that it reminds us what Joe Biden was like before he had to strap on his Depends to take a bike fall.
The Ruskies
There was no credible evidence that Russia helped Trump win the 2016 election, but that didn’t keep Hillary and the Democrats from dodging responsibility for her loss and tearing the country apart for two years of the Trump-Russia collusion investigation. Someone had to pay, and holding Hillary responsible for her own loss simply wouldn’t do. But that won’t work this time. Putin is too busy fighting a hot war with Ukraine and a proxy war with Joe Biden.
DEMENTIA-O-RAMA! N.Y. Gov. Kathy Hochul believes the record crime wave we’ve seen for the last two years is a “conspiracy.”
Democrats are expected to lose for the following reasons: crime, inflation, COVID-19 response, and for many, revenge for what some see as a stolen 2020 election. If you spray the nation with luminol, you’ll find Democrat DNA all over each of these tragedies. (That’s a reference for my fellow insomniacs who can’t sleep and power-watch hours of Forensic Files.)
Democrats have been whining about “semi-fascists” in MAGA hats for months. Expect the bolshies to blame Trump’s people for the punishment they know awaits them next week.
How do we know Democrats will power-vomit blame onto everyone but themselves? Hillary is already mooing about the Republicans’ plan to cheat in 2024.
*taps microphone* And now an important message from Secretary @HillaryClinton!
We're all focused on winning the midterms and defending our congressional majorities. That’s critical. But we also must take the fight to MAGA Republicans at the state level: https://t.co/3JDygMc5T2 pic.twitter.com/HPNSvnqZsK
— Indivisible Guide (@IndivisibleTeam) October 21, 2022
The truth is, Americans are rejecting the Democrats’ commie drive to end our republic. It took a little longer than we’d hoped but the “great reset” will have to be postponed due to what I expect will be a tsunami of American patriotism on election day next week.
Pack your cigars and have your bourbon ready. Unlike Detroit Lions fans, we can’t just sit back and say, “Maybe next year.” We need to win this one now.
Of course, the main thing the Democrats will blame for their loss is YOU. You knew CNN was lying when they said the Antifa/BLM riots were “mostly peaceful.” You laughed when Joe Biden tried to blame inflation, gas prices, and Pearl Harbor on Putin. You realized early on that Fauci is a power-starved toilet person who deserves to spend the rest of his troll-like existence in prison.
You didn’t take the bait when your liberal sister-in-law and her green-haired, trans-pansexual boi?-friend called you a Christmas Nazi last December, hoping to ruin your holidays. You knew what was really happening and you voted the Democrats into near extinction.
How did you do it? You aren’t stupid. Part of the reason you vote red is that you’re an American, not a commie. You want to leave the nation a better place for your kids. You’re also not an animal who believes it’s okay to allow a 14-year-old boy to lop off his penis for “likes” on TikTok.
Still another reason you voted the bolshies into oblivion is that you rely on PJ Media to keep you informed. You know we bring you news and opinion pieces that reflect your values. We aren’t going to lie to you.
The apparatchiks are trying to kill off PJ Media. They fear us. They fear YOU.
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