Columns

Go Ahead, Joe: Stop Virtue Signaling and Grab the Guns. And the Knives and the Blue Sedans While You're at It

AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

Democrats ridicule the adage, “guns don’t kill people, people kill people,” and for good reason. The adage is true and exposes the real root of America’s alleged gun violence problem — a proliferation of mental illness, hatred, and moral depravity in this country. But if guns truly are the problem, as Democrats insist, then stop dancing around the issue. I’m talking to you, Joe — you’re the one you’ve been waiting for and it’s time to get serious about solving the gun violence problem in America.

The non-white Syrian immigrant and mass murderer who didn’t commit a white hate crime that left ten white people dead in Boulder, Colo., used a legal Ruger AR-556 pistol. The killer used a stabilizing brace, “an accessory that straps around one’s arm to help fire a weapon one-handed” and “aids in accuracy.” Joe is announcing an executive order that will regulate this accessory and make it more difficult to attain. Come on, Joe, it’s the Ruger that’s the problem, not the brace. Ban the Ruger. Stop virtue signaling. If the Ruger AR-556 had been banned, a Ruger AR-556 wouldn’t have been used to commit the crime.

The white 21-year-old Atlanta spa shooter who committed an Asian hate crime that left eight people dead, including two white people, used a 9mm handgun. Joe is announcing an executive order intended to ban “ghost guns” — guns that can be assembled at home using a kit. Come on, Joe, the killer didn’t use a “ghost gun,” he used a 9mm pistol. Ban 9mm handguns. If 9mm handguns had been banned, a 9mm handgun couldn’t have been used to commit the crime. Stop virtue signaling.

In Washington, D.C., a devotee of the Nation of Islam killed a Capitol Police officer using a lethal blue four-door sedan. Joe has not announced any executive orders regulating the purchase of blue sedans. Come, on, Joe. Cars kill people, too. If that blue sedan had been banned, that blue sedan couldn’t have been used to kill a police officer. Ban the blue sedan. This is an opportunity to curb the “auto violence” epidemic in America. Cars kill people.

But don’t stop there. You’re on to something with the “ghost gun” ban, Joe. While it wasn’t used to commit a violent crime, it could be in the future. We must anticipate future deadly weapons, which could be used to commit violent crimes. This is why I demand an executive order curbing knife violence. Start with the Kurosaki Shizuku Sujihiki Slicing knife.

90 minutes before the Nation of Islam killer used his sedan to kill a Capitol Police officer, he purchased this deadly weapon. Though unused, his intention was clear. The knife is typically used to carve turkeys, but it can also be used to carve people. Sign an executive order restricting the sale of this knife to culinary students and professional chefs. Or, better yet, ban knives, Joe. Sign the executive order. While you’re at it, ban Thanksgiving. Turkeys are synonymous with Thanksgiving. No Thanksgiving, no turkey carving knives, no murders. Do it, Joe, if you’re actually serious about curbing violence in America.

But one thing at a time. Joe is focused on “gun violence.” We can debate a ban on blue sedans and silent-but-deadly electric vehicles and kitchen knives another time. If guns are the problem, then guns must be seized and destroyed. And don’t give me the excuse of the 2nd Amendment. As we learned over the past year, Americans are willing to give up their inalienable rights so long as it is a matter of public health and safety. Joe, just tell the American people that as many as 2.2 million Americans are projected to die from gun violence if we don’t hand over our guns. Tell us the study came out of the UK — a projection model. Fauci can go on TV and talk about it.

Joe, it’s time to be the king you were born to be. You’ve already signed enough executive orders to make King George III look like a benevolent friend of the American colonists. Stop virtue signaling and grab the guns. All of them. Destroy them. It’s not even unprecedented. In fact, exactly 246 years ago this very month, King George III ordered British troops to seize and destroy guns and munitions from the American colonists — in April of 1775. It’s apropos that your announcement comes on the anniversary of this tyrannical action.

But King George III had guts. He didn’t virtue signal. He took decisive action. But a word of caution — the gun grab of 1775 sparked the American Revolution. The Continental Congress responded to the gun grab with a “Declaration on the Causes and Necessity of Taking up arms.” Thomas Jefferson and John Dickinson wrote, “what is to defend us against so enormous, so unlimited a power?” The answer is guns. It’s the reason we have the 2nd Amendment. I know, Joe — Democrats say the 2nd Amendment was for hunting. They say the old, white, wig-wearing Patriots could never have anticipated modern weapons. True, but they did anticipate the Democrat Party and power-hungry tyrants — and you, Joe. We know why we have guns, Joe. I suspect you do, too. It’s diabolical and unconscionable that you seem eager to prove the point.