The Rosett Report

Yikes! UN Unveils Secret Weapon To Counter North Korea Nuclear Threat

Let no one say the UN can’t act in a crisis. With North Korea threatening to conduct an in-our-face nuclear bomb test, the UN Security Council has just wheeled out a threat of its own. If North Korea goes ahead, the UN will respond with — well, go ahead and make a guess:

A) The immediate expulsion of North Korea from the UN.

B) The urgent assembly of a coalition to launch precision missile strikes anywhere that North Korea’s dictator Kim Jong Il might next pop up, including one of the few dependable heat sources in the country — his motorcade.

C) Public pressure on North Korea’s neighbor, China, to actually comply with its UN treaty obligations on refugees, and offer immediate safe passage or asylum to all North Koreans who wish to flee their country — which might simplify the North Korean problem by emptying the place overnight of almost everyone but Kim Jong Il and the usual visiting Iranian missile-and-bomb experts.

D) “Unspecified action.”

If you guessed D, you are clearly spending precious time following the UN’s abject failure to stop nuclear-armed rogue states, when you could be reading Rep. Mark Foley’s emails. But you guessed right. Of course, “unspecified action” is not the only weapon in the UN arsenal. If that doesn’t work, there’s always “further action,” — or, this being North Korea, maybe another round of “additional action.”