Our Media’s April Fools

Happy April Fools’ Day, especially to the fools — er, the enlightened journalists — in American media! There are so many acclaimed media outlets and networks in our Republic, and while we here at PJ Media like to focus on reporting real news (old-fashioned, I know), there are many other options for those who prefer a little fantasy and fun fabrication with their afternoon coffee.

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First, foremost, and fully fantastical is CNN, otherwise known as the Clinton News Network. CNN practically invented fake news, a major achievement. From screeching that Donald Trump called for a physical “bloodbath” to pushing divisive race hoaxes to glorifying harmful “transgender treatments” for kids to conducting a high-tech lynching against a prominent North Carolina black Republican, CNN last year alone was a hotspot of the low and the lying. But who doesn’t love a fiery but mostly peaceful protest?

Then there’s CBS News, which kindly employs Margaret Brennan when she isn’t casting spells and brewing potions. Without Brennan, how would we have learned that free speech caused the Holocaust? And the 2024 vice presidential debate, fairly and evenly rigged against JD Vance, solidified CBS’s reputation as a media arm of the Democrat Party.

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For Our VIPsU.S. Kids Want Their Dreams for Free. Jesse Owens Knew Better.

MSNBC (pronounced Mess-NBC), erstwhile employer of Joyless Ann Reid and self-appointed arbiter of all things Nazi, goose-steps its way through many a hoax. For instance, in its zeal to smear Trump, MSNBC likened a Trump rally featuring a Holocaust survivor to a Nazi rally. Heil Kamala! 

We must not forget The Atlantic, that bastion of Trump Derangement Syndrome, which recently tried to make a big deal out of Signalgate and which empathized sincerely with a loving father so cruelly deported by Trump because he happened to be a dangerous MS-13 gang member. It’s almost as impressive as The New York Slimes and Washington Compost’s* Pulitzer Prize-winning Russia Hoax (I disclaim all responsibility for autocorrect misspellings).

Indeed, we laud The Washington Post for having a staff of pr̶o̶p̶a̶g̶a̶n̶d̶i̶s̶t̶s̶ reporters so dedicated to leftist bias that owner Jeff Bezos’s decision not to endorse a specific 2024 presidential candidate practically caused fiery and very unpeaceful protests. What principle!

To all the April — or year-long — fools at NBC, ABC, The New Yorker, and beyond, enjoy today, because it’s your holiday!

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Coming up next: Stay tuned for investigative bombshells from Jake Tapper on who REALLY soiled Joe Biden’s diaper and who made Jake Tapper look like a lying idiot.

Not April Fools: there is one outlet you can consistently count on for honest news and quality analysis, but we can’t do what we do without your support. Join us at PJ Media VIP and use the promo code FIGHT to get 60% off your VIP membership! We love to hear from our subscribers, and that’s no joke!

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