Buzz Ballad: Bunch of Gays Went Down to Georgia

—apologies to Charlie Daniels and “The Devil Went Down to Georgia“

Bunch of gays went down to Georgia, they were lookin’ for a Chick-Fil-A
They’d got all bent ’cause its President liked marriage the old-fashioned way.
They drove right up to the window, under their collars they were hot
And they said to the girl takin’ orders there, “We don’t like the chicken in your pot.
“Now girlie, you may not know it but we’re a bunch of militants
“And while we insist on our own liberty, we don’t like Dan Cathy’s stance.
“So we’re gonna have a kiss-in here just to show our contempt for you
“‘Cause nobody nowhere nohow can criticize what gay folks do.”
The girl spoke back right smart at them, and didn’t damn their eyes,
But said, “I think you’ll change your mind when you try our waffle fries.”

Chick-Fil-A, fire up the grill and spread that chicken spice
See if you can make militant gays learn how to act real nice;
Everybody has free speech, that’s how this country’s made
Maybe you’ll sweeten their dispositions with a glass of lemonade.

The gays all piled out of their car and locked in an embrace
A couple guys with tattoos started in to gnaw each other’s face
But no-one paid them any mind, although they acted rude
They practically were trampled by folks looking to buy food.
They writhed and gripped hard as they could, but it was no big deal
‘Cause Chick-Fil-A was swamped with people clamoring for a meal

They yelled, “Gimme a spicy sandwich, do
“Gimme a drink, waffle fries too
“Whether you’re for gay marriage or not
“We don’t care for kiss-ins or boycotts.”

The militants were angry ’cause they knew that they’d been beat
They were about to get into their car and drive off in defeat
They knew they’d really lost when one of them came back outside,
Saying, “Hey, guys, you know this sandwich? It’s the best I’ve ever tried.”

They yelled, “Gimme a spicy sandwich, do
“Gimme a drink, waffle fries too
“Whether you’re for gay marriage or not
“We don’t care for kiss-ins or boycotts.”