Seattle's Autonomous Anarchist Zone Learns a Hilarious Lesson About Theft

Have you heard that a six-block section of Seattle has become an anarchist “capitol hill autonomous zone,” or “CHAZ” for short?

It has. Police and firefighters vacated their premises and bugged out with a Twitter blessing from Mayor Jenny Durkan. Durkan dithered over the descent of protests into violence for a week before doing much, and when she did much, her choice was to tweet in hasty retreat.

Anarchists quickly set up CHAZ to be and do its own thing, as long as that thing conformed with diktats of the CHAZ hierarchy.

They put up makeshift signs saying, “You are now leaving the U.S.A.” As you can see below, they appropriated stolen barricades from America, which they despise. To paraphrase a former president, CHAZ did not build that. Or anything else.

Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone in Seattle. 6 blocks retaken back for the people. “You are now leaving the USA” when you enter. Long live the fucking revolution. ✊🏽 pic.twitter.com/xgFVjA33mx

— Armani (@historyofarmani) June 9, 2020

The CHAZ collective thanked the mayor for her gift of a six-block area of America the mayor does not personally own (and which includes about 500 homes of actual Americans) by storming city hall and demanding that she resign unless she disbands the police.

Demonstrators remained peaceful, without reports of violence or injuries, but are pushing Mayor Jenny Durkan to step down if she refuses to defund the city’s police department.

The protesters continued to camp out in a self-declared “Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone” (CHAZ)– a region spanning six blocks and encompassing the precinct– which has effectively been abandoned by law enforcement after the Seattle Police Department closed the East Precinct on Monday.

Well.

An eagle-eyed tweeter spotted an urgent problem developing in the secessionist CHAZ collective: The homeless stole all their food.

Chef’s kiss. pic.twitter.com/SbsqCVNvq3

— Count Vigo, Scourge of Carpathia (@DunsScottus) June 10, 2020

Call the police!

Right — CHAZ wants to disband the police. The police are over in America anyway, and American police have no obligation to help secessionist CHAZ.

CHAZ has no farms or orchards. CHAZ is paved over with streets and buildings. CHAZ cannot feed itself.

In addition to being dependent on America, which it despises, CHAZ is a hypocritical anarchist collective. It wants to enforce its borders.

Requesting:
60 or more 94 inch long boards that are 2.5 x 3.5 inches.

Again, these are needed to build and protect the barricades around the zone! #SeattleAutonomousZone

— Rosa Negra Seattle | Black Rose Seattle (@BRRNSeattle) June 9, 2020

It’s a pity CHAZ has no indigenous lumber supply.

Or electricity. Or water supply.