PJ Media

North Korea's Kim Jong Il a Fashion Bug

According to communist newspaper Rodong Sinmun, the world has been “gripped” by the fashion sense and “global vogue” of North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il. This fall, expect to see a worldwide comeback of 1980’s Ray-Bans and Members Only jackets.

Surely you’ve heard of this phenomenon already, but in case you’ve been under a rock, the full story can be found here.

Apparently France is all aflutter with reports that the “Kim Jong-Il mode, which is now spreading expeditiously worldwide, is something unprecedented in the world’s history.”

Here in America, eBay has been flooded with shoppers looking for this treasured, vintage style. A quick search turns up well over 500 matches just for the jacket alone!

And who can forget the homage paid to the “Great General” in the American television series Will and Grace? The fashion-savvy character Rosario is a clear tribute to Kim, as she continually upstages her plain and poorly dressed companion, Karen Walker.

Many world leaders are clamoring for the subtle yet genius North Korean couture.

It’s even been rumored that Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has admired Kim Jong-Il’s attire. She’s apparently looking for a new authoritative style, away from her Mao Mandarin collars.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad seems to have captured Kim’s je ne sais quoi. He is a fellow “member” who shares a common love of red-hot rockets and giving noogies to the United Nations.

Other items expected to make a comeback for communist dictators:

Men’s clothing isn’t Kim’s only specialty. The dictator launched a recent campaign against “untidy and foreign hairstyles.” He declared that hair for women should be tied back and for men it should be kept short.

The “Dear Leader” had this epiphany after seeing a female store clerk with a hairstyle obviously modeled on the “bad foreign habits of the capitalist.” The right to bad foreign hairstyles in North Korea is reserved only for the dictator.

Other capitalist and Western pleasures reserved only for Kim Jong-Il have been reported by a couple of chefs and a personal shopper on … hiatus.

Pyongyang’s Number 8 Banquet Hall is “equipped with an elaborate lighting … and even a disco mirror ball hanging from the middle of the ceiling with strobe lights.” Classy!

When told to strip naked, disco dancers at this hall were surprised by the creative inspiration of the leader. He even ordered his staff members and a chef to dance. Fun for all!

Dancing isn’t the only guilty pleasure in North Korea. Luxury cars, nuclear equipment, and weapons caught the fancy of the Dear Leader. He sent his personal shopper, Kim Jong Ryul, all over the world to acquire them. After 20 years, Kim Jong Ryul finally shopped ‘til he dropped — faking his own death and leaving the country.

The benevolent dictator is not without sympathy for his citizens. Granted, he’s been known to have entire families murdered just for a drunken slight by one of its members. Then again, what dictator hasn’t made that rookie mistake, eh?

Obviously feeling bad for such overreactions (and for widespread famine), the regime invited an Italian pizza expert to teach the military how to cook pizza for the starving masses. Pizza party! The goal was to make quick, cheap, and easy meals for the whole family … err, country.

The dictator’s tastes are more refined than those of his adoring masses. He has “10,000 bottles of liquor in a cellar, and sends his chefs around the world for opulent foods like caviar and the finest sushi.”

Probably the most exquisite meal ever to be made for Kim is a sea urchin dish by his former Japanese chef, Kenji Fujimoto. Well, it hasn’t been made yet. In 2001 Fujimoto left for Rishiri Island to fetch the urchin. The dictator thought the dish looked “really good!” And as soon as the chef comes back from his trip, it’s sure to be a treat.