Adventures in the Patriarchy™: ‘VenusGuard’

Via VenusGuard (emphasis added):

According to the World Health Organization, nearly 1 in every 3 women, at least 840 million worldwide*, have experienced physical or s-xual v-olence** in their lifetime.

These numbers represent real trauma, survivors denied justice, and a culture in which far too many offenders face no real consequences.

Our society is living through an epidemic of r-pe culture***. It seems as though in every angle, the burden falls on survivors. We know that it is not and should not be the responsibility of women to defend themselves from such frequent v-olence. However, in this reality that we face, many of us now refuse to wait on criminals to stop committing crimes. A product that makes self defense more accessible for women’s anatomy is long overdue. 

This is why we’ve developed VenusGuard, a women’s self defense sleeve.

*I’m not a math surgeon, but “1 in 3 women” worldwide, totaling 840 million women, seems a little iffy, given that there are more than eight billion people on the planet. If you’re going to lead your product pitch with invented statistics to terrify your audience, couldn’t you try a little harder?

**Apparently, the terms “sexual,” “violence,” and “rape” are too triggering to print. As a workaround, the proprietors at VenusGuard spell them out almost in entirety while inserting a dash where one of the vowels would otherwise be, so that anyone reading it with beyond a first-grade reading level understands what the word is but that’s somehow less traumatizing than not censoring one of the letters, which makes no difference — a form of mollycoddling that’s so stupid as to be offensive to anyone with any sense of self-respect.

Related: #Resistance Liberals Tattoo Themselves Blue to Oppose Fascism, Spot ‘Safe People’

***This term “rape culture” is so 2018 #MeToo-era. No one has ever been able to convincingly explain what a “rape culture” actually is or how the West, where rape is a serious felony and severely socially stigmatized, qualifies as one.

So how does the Venus Guard work to defend women from the monstrous American “rape culture”?

The gruesome details:

It is a concealed internal silicone device, used in a similar way as a tampon or menstrual cup, designed by medical professionals for the purpose of defending against v-ginal penetrative assault.

‍ ‍It incapacitates an attacker if penetration occurs, and collects DNA evidence to be used in prosecution. 

No special skills, strength, or training are required for a user of VenusGuard to gain more peace of mind.

The more widely known and accessible VenusGuard becomes, the more that potential offenders will hesitate to offend. The growth in popularity of VenusGuard will let offenders know that risks now include severe pain, identification, and far higher likelihoods of conviction.

'VenusGuard': A new feminist product that mangles the genitals of would-be rapists pic.twitter.com/7T4ki0CZAw

— Ben Bartee (@BenBartee) April 30, 2026

VenusGuard is currently harvesting donations from feminists around the country to get its penis-slicing product off the ground because, according to the company, they’re having trouble getting Walmart and Amazon on board.

Continuing:

We've conducted thousands of efficacy tests, and the VenusGuard prototype has been approved and endorsed by over 500 women worldwide. Our prototype works incredibly well for its intended use. It is trustworthy, and it is in demand…

‍However, actualizing VenusGuard to the public market is going to require significant resources. Here is what our fundraising is for:

We need further testing and production equipment like molds and assembly to finally create a full supply for the demand of those in need. 

Our first fundraising goal is to establish a product line that is of utmost quality for sale here on our website. A second fundraiser will cover registration and broader rollout to be sold in stores across the globe.

‍ ‍We have reached out to multiple companies and government agencies for partnerships, but they have turned us away. This is largely due to their personal business concerns, and their outdated stigmas around the conversation of r-pe and survivorship. Regardless, we absolutely refuse to believe that arming women with VenusGuard is “controversial”. 

That's why we have to turn to our community to make this a grassroots reality.

Related: Physician: Libs Experiencing ‘9/11-Style’ Trauma After MAGA Takeover

The company doesn’t elaborate on the “personal business concerns” that have caused “multiple companies and government agencies” to turn it down.

Suspecting their objections might be legal in nature — as in, they don’t want to be liable for the mayhem unleashed by VenusGuard — I consulted the font of all known wisdom in the universe

Most U.S. jurisdictions apply some version of proportionality within self-defense (a core idea in criminal law): you can use force reasonably necessary to stop an imminent threat. With a crime like sexual assault, courts generally recognize it as a serious bodily threat, so significant force is often justified.

Where a device like VenusGuard gets tricky

A product designed to injure an attacker automatically during penetration raises a few gray areas:

• Severity of harm vs. threat
   If the device causes substantial injury, a court might ask whether that level of harm was proportionate—even in a sexual assault context (where strong force is often allowed). 
• Pre-set vs. reactive force
  Traditional self-defense is reactive (you respond in the moment). A pre-inserted device could be argued as preemptive, which some courts may scrutinize more closely. 
• Reasonableness standard
   The key legal question is usually: Would a reasonable person in the same situation think this level of force was necessary to stop the assault?
  In many cases involving rape prevention, the answer could still be yes—but it’s not guaranteed. 
• Risk of unintended harm
  If the device injures someone in a situation later disputed (e.g., issues of consent), legal complications increase significantly.