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Andrew Klavan

Andrew Klavan’s newest novel is Nightmare City.

“Werewolf Cop:” A Book And Its Cover

I’ve taken a lot of flack for titling my new novel Werewolf CopI was counting on readers’ sense of curiosity and irony to bring them into what is, I think, a unique genre story and one of the best books I’ve written. The cover the publisher originally proposed caught some of that attitude, I think:

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But ultimately my publishers and agent thought that cover would cause the book to be ignored by critics and relegated to the horror section of bookstores. So they came up with something more serious and literary-looking:

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What do you think?

One reviewer from BookReporter had this reaction:

This may be the best argument for “don’t judge a book by its cover” that I’ve seen in recent memory. The highly ironic and simple title does not do any justice to the story that is contained within the covers. However, fans will breathe a sigh of relief when they see the name of the author listed above the title: Andrew Klavan…

WEREWOLF COP is a fun and gripping read that is much more classic police procedural than campy horror. The end result is the most unique novel Andrew Klavan has penned to date.

I don’t know if I made the right decision  — either for the title or the jacket — but I hope people who enjoy this blog will give the novel a try.

Posted at 11:48 am on April 17th, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

Obama’s Clown Car Diplomacy

The funny thing about Barack Obama is that he’s an ideological fool whose philosophical intransigence is causing death and destruction on a massive scale. Wait, you don’t think that’s funny? Well, it’s all in the way you tell it.

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Posted at 11:12 am on April 15th, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

Some Other Good Democrat Nominees

Anything you say, Mrs. President.

If Hillary Clinton is elected to the White House, she will be the first woman to be president in the same sense Amelia Earhart was the first woman to fly around the world. That is, we’ll all be expected to pay lip service to the effort no matter what kind of disaster it is. To be fair, however, this repeatedly dishonest, barely competent, desiccated, privileged, entitled wife of someone accomplished would almost certainly be a better president than the one we have now. Which consideration got me to thinking: If all they’re looking for is a first woman president who’d be better than Obama, can’t the Dems do better than Hillary?

Here are some suggestions:

1. Zooey Deschanel:  Don’t you think? She’s so cute and zany. She’s female. She’d be a better president than Obama. And she never greeted the death of four good Americans by promising to punish a YouTube video maker who had nothing to do with it — and then fulfilled that promise by pressuring the police to arrest the video guy and slap him into prison. Plus those adorable bangs would enliven any press conference.

2. Scarlett Johansson: Female; better than Obama. And, I mean, if we’re going to have a woman president why not a What-A-Woman President? Va-va-va-voom, am I right, boys? Also, she never lied to protect her husband’s political career while allowing the women her husband abused to be publicly excoriated by his corrupt minions. If ever a powerful male sex abuser silenced his female victims it was then, and one thing we can say for certain: Scarlett Johansson was in no way a party to it. And let’s face it, Scarlett got short-changed in The Avengers. I mean, pistols? What kind of boring super power is that? Oh, and there’s this: she’s Jewish. How come the media are concerned for every minority to take a turn in the White House except Jews? And Hispanics who are Republican?

Posted at 11:58 am on April 13th, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

How America Changed Music

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A little less serious than our usual conversation. Bill Whittle and I discuss the U.S.’s contribution to music. I hype the American Songbook, Bill natters on about that Rock ‘N Roll trash. These kids today!

Posted at 8:57 am on April 10th, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

‘It Follows’

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David Robert Mitchell’s horror movie It Follows has been getting a lot of love from elite critics but in spite of that it’s actually very good. It tells the story of a sexually transmitted disease which causes a monster in various human forms to follow you and, if it catches you, kill you. As a sort of tribute to slasher pictures like Halloween and Friday the 13th, the Follows monster never runs, only walks relentlessly.

The best thing about the picture, from my point of view, is that the monster always looks human and can even look like someone you know, so you’re never sure who it is. This is in keeping with Klavan’s Horror Rule #1 which states that the most frightening thing you can see onscreen is a living human being with dead eyes. The dead-eyed man or woman who stands still and stares at you blankly across a crowded room is more frightening than the monster in Alien or Freddy Krueger or anyone else in make-up or costume. It Follows takes advantage of this fact, which requires real discipline and restraint on the part of the director.

The film takes place in the Democrat-destroyed city of Detroit — but when it takes place is open to question. Mitchell uses the Democrat-created urban blight of the city to disguise his playful rejiggering of time cues. For instance, one girl uses a cellphone but another uses a trimstyle phone I haven’t seen in years. All the movies people watch in the film are old and some of the television sets date from the sixties. All the cars are old. A teenaged girl shows up at one point wearing grandma underwear you couldn’t buy in a modern store. Yet the sexual and racial ethics are clearly modern.

In other words, the film takes place in Horror Movie Time. Some of the settings even seem to have come straight out of other horror films like Halloween. Normally, this sort of frou-frou artsy stuff would annoy me — shut up and tell the story already — but somehow Mitchell makes it work. 

In fact, in general, I’m always wary of highly praised genre material because so often it fulfills some intellectual yearning of the critics without actually being thrilling or scary for the rest of us. But It Follows manages to be eerie and tense and arty all at the same time. It’s a cool film with subtle scares and a really spooky final shot. Well worth seeing, if you like the genre.

And speaking of the genre, if you haven’t checked out my new novel Werewolf Cop, you should. You really should.

Posted at 8:43 am on April 8th, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

Knowing God by His Enemies (Starring S. Crowder)

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This has got to be one of my favorite Steven Crowder (@scrowder) videos ever — which is saying something. In this one, Steven pretends to be a gay guy and goes into some Muslim bakeries in Dearborn, Michigan, to ask them to bake a wedding cake for him and his husband. The bakers politely decline and refer him to other bakers who might perform the service he needs.

Now first of all, I have to admire Crowder’s courage here. It isn’t easy to come out of the closet at his age. (Oh, all right, I’m joking!) But it’s worth noting that these American Muslims are, every one of them, as pleasant, respectful and lovely to my crazy friend as you could hope an American business person to be. Other Muslim bakers, Crowder says, agreed to do as he asked. The ones on camera are simply insisting on their freedom, not to discriminate against persons, but to choose which activities they want to participate in and which violate their creed. In between the hidden cam stuff, Crowder makes the point well.

Despite the obvious decency of these good American baker folks, Crowder repeatedly returns to the idea that, in Muslim countries, gays don’t fare quite as well as make-believe-gay Steven fares in Dearborn. That is, in Muslim countries, homosexuals can be judicially murdered just for being homosexual. Many on the right have puzzled over the fact that left-wing homofascists rain hate on everyday freedom-loving Americans who insist on their right to follow their religious consciences while these same left-wing homofascists go suddenly silent on the issue of Islamic mistreatment of gays. Likewise leftist feminists in America have to invent fantasy rapes and oppressions to keep their sense of victimized entitlement on the boil, but make nary a girlish peep about the very real enslavement and mutilation of women in the Muslim world. Indeed, leftists of all stripes seem to swoon over the “micro-aggressions” of free American life, while throwing their full sympathy and support behind the single most aggressive and oppressive political force active on the planet today: radical Islam.

But — in keeping with what I said a few posts back — the reason for this apparent contradiction seems obvious to me. It isn’t oppression the Left hates, it’s individual freedom and the Judeo-Christian God (aka “God”) who gives it to individual men and women.

The God part of this equation is indispensable, as our founders knew. George W. Bush once said, “God has planted in every human heart the desire to live in freedom.” But that’s just wrong. In fact, how any man who believes in the Bible could believe that, I truly don’t know. The Bible tells how God freed his chosen people the Hebrews from Egyptian slavery. He sent them the prophet Moses, he sent them signs and wonders, he rained plagues on their enemies, he defeated the mighty pharaoh and his armies with uncanny heavenly warfare. And when the Lord was done and his chosen people were free, the chosen turned to Moses and said, in effect, “We’re hungry! We were better off as slaves!”

Posted at 8:01 am on April 5th, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

Happy Easter

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“It’s like in the great stories… the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it’s only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it’ll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something even if you were too small to understand why. But I think… I do understand, I know now folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going because they were holding on to something.”  The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers

Happy Easter, from Klavan on the Culture.


Posted at 6:19 am on April 3rd, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

I Talk to RedState About Werewolf Cop



Chatted with Moe Lane over at RedState about my new novel Werewolf Cop.  A short but interesting interview, I thought, especially when he asked me to sell fiction to conservatives in thirty seconds! That part’s near the end. Listen – and let me know if I succeeded!Werewolf Cop_3D

Posted at 7:02 am on April 1st, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

Religious Freedom in Indiana

I spent a lot of time in Indiana as a young man and I’ve always loved it there — so I laugh with delighted laughter to see leftist homofascists boycott and slander the state over the new Religious Freedom Restoration Act. If the results of past boycotts of this type — against Chick-fil-A and Duck Dynasty, for instance — are any indication, Indiana should soon be the richest and most popular state in the union!

The law, as you probably know by now, imitates the 1993 federal RFRA, voted in nearly unanimously and signed by Bill Clinton. It seeks to prevent the state from violating your right to act on religious principles unless they can show “compelling interest.” Among its purposes is preventing gay activists from bullying, say, Christian bakers or florists into participating in gay weddings that violate their religious consciences. Nineteen other states have such laws without being boycotted. Those states have my sympathy. They must envy Indiana deeply.

I support the right of gay people to forge faithful, lifelong unions recognized by the state and respected by people of good will. Leftists do not support this, make no mistake. They only use the issue as a way to attack Christianity and heterosexual family life. If that’s not true, let’s see one of these homofascist clowns walk into a Muslim restaurant and demand Mohammed make the falafels for his wedding. They don’t do this not only because they are cowardly scum, but also because attacking Islam is no more their purpose than is the true and honorable support of gay rights. Islam is not the philosophical backbone of the American way of individual freedom that leftists so despise. Christianity and Christian thought and family are the pillars of that freedom — and that’s why the left wants to destroy them.

These leftist bullies are not good for gay people any more than feminists bullies are good for women. In both cases, since the media give the thugs so much air time and unquestioning (not to mention mindlessly stupid) support, it becomes easy to believe that these bozos represent a class of people when they only represent their destructive, radical selves. It’s easy to feel angry at women while listening to feminists — unless you actually know some women, in which case you’re likely to find them to be nothing like the awful harridans who pretend to speak for them. Likewise, it’s easy to think the homofascists represent gay people — unless you know some gay people (as anyone who works in the arts is bound to) and find they mostly want to work, love and be left alone like other Americans.

I should hardly need to say this, but just for the record: freedom is a two-way street. If I am free to do something, you are free to refuse to do it or to participate in it. If the homofascists don’t seem to support that principle it’s for one simple reason: it’s that very principle they want to destroy. Gay rights are only the weapon they happen to have at hand.

Posted at 11:55 am on March 30th, 2015 by Andrew Klavan

I Talk Werewolves with John Miller

John H. Miller, author of The First Assassin, (and incidentally a guy who is currently writing some of the best pop culture criticism around about authors such as H.P. Lovecraft and the great Robert Aickman) recently called my new novel Werewolf Cop “a modern masterpiece of hardboiled horror.”

Here, John and I chat about the nature of the beast on his podcast The Bookmonger.

Posted at 5:21 am on March 26th, 2015 by Andrew Klavan