Everybody Stinks and Everything's Great

If Cognitive Dissonance were a terminal condition, we’d all be dead.

This is a week in which just about everyone in our public political life covered himself in shame. And things are going better for the country than they have in years.

Donald Trump retweeted unsubstantiated videos of Muslim mayhem put out by a far-right British group. And yes, Muslim mayhem is a world-class problem. And yes, Trump has done the world a favor by shattering the politically correct ban on saying so. But that’s exactly why he has to maintain credibility on the issue and check his sources before he hits the damn button. It was careless and stupid and did the cause no good.

Democrats in Congress seem to be sheltering one sex pest after another. Senator Al Franken pretends to apologize for what he pretends not to remember doing. Congressman James Clyburn slandered John Conyers’ accusers because they’re white. Nancy Pelosi says Conyers shouldn’t resign because he’s an icon but should resign because when she said he shouldn’t she made a fool of herself. They’re disgusting, the lot of them.

Which is not to say Republicans are blameless. In Alabama, Roy Moore claimed the plausible charges he pestered young girls are part of a conspiracy of gays, lesbians and transgenders. What a fraud this clown is! And who’s he running against? A guy who thinks it’s okay to kill babies in the womb even after they’re viable — which to my mind makes him an American psycho. So… see you, Alabama voters. Wouldn’t want to be you.

In our courts, both the alleged Benghazi mastermind Ahmed Abu Khattala and allegedly homicidal illegal immigrant Jose Ines Garcia Zarate avoided murder convictions. The first should never have been tried in civilian court; the second would not have been in the country at all if it weren’t for San Francisco’s illegal sanctuary stance. Everybody who had anything to do with these outcomes is awful.

And, of course, our news media. We already knew they were the worst — but who’d have thought they were the worst of the worst? Matt Lauer reportedly locked girls in his office and assaulted them till they fainted. NBC claims they never knew. They knew.

So everybody stinks — and yet.

And yet, the economy is chugging along at full steam. The Do-Nothing Republican Congress actually seems to be on the verge of doing something. Trump’s boorishness is actually shattering the suffocating glass cage of political correctness we’ve all been stuck in for years. And, despite the discomforts of the sex-scandal-ocalypse, some of these creepy pigs are finally being brought down as they deserve.

So weirdly, while our public life is full of jackasses, things are actually going quite well, thank you very much. If tax reform passes and Trump manages to destroy North Korea before they can get a shot off, this will have been a hell of a good year for the good guys. Too bad there aren’t any more good guys!

One last thing. Melania. Melania is the exception to the stinking rule. What a great job she is doing as First Lady! Her Christmas decorations are beautiful and she’s beautiful — and, more importantly, she is graceful and kind. I’m so proud she represents this country, no kidding. Some people get angry at me when I bring up the porney modeling and gold-digging in her past  — but that’s exactly what I love about her. She has risen above her former self to the height of excellence.

May that be truly said of all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless us, every lousy one.

For more commentary, listen to my podcast, Monday through Thursday.