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What to Do When Caught On Camera Doing Embarrassing Things? Claim Rape!

Don't worry about the poor shlep whose life you ruin in the process.

by
Megan Fox

Bio

October 17, 2013 - 11:00 am

called out

This is what slut culture has brought us. It’s totally fine to be a slut, have sex with whomever you want, whenever you want, with whatever sexual aids you want, in any orifice you want, with as many people as you want… BUT… if while exploring this freedom of sexual expression you should happen to be caught on video and that video goes viral, claim rape.

This will ensure that all video evidence will be scrubbed from the internet so that even Larry Flynt can’t find it. It will also work for you legally because, thanks to university women’s studies professors, if a woman is “intoxicated” and she engages in sexual behavior (and regrets it in the morning) it’s rape! Don’t worry about the poor shlep whose life you ruin in the process. It’s exactly like the abortion you may have to have in a few weeks. Just get over it and move on. You are more important than… well, everything and everyone!

ohio rape

And to you Mr. Rapist, even if you were also drunk and even if at the time she said she wanted it and had an orgasm and a romping good time, even if there is a video of her holding your head closer to her, when she wakes up in the morning feeling regretful or slutty, she can file a police report. You clearly didn’t pay attention in “consent” class did you? You were supposed to get her to sign a waiver before engaging in any sexual behavior. Dude, your level of drunkenness is not a factor. It will not save you from the slammer like it will save her from public ridicule.

Warning to all men: DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH DRUNK GIRLS… or in this particular girl’s case, don’t perform oral sex on them either. Giving oral pleasure to drunk girls is now also “rape.”

Here’s a better idea. Find a wife. Have a family so you can stop worrying about what fauxminists will cook up next to put you behind bars.

Megan Fox is a homeschooling mom to her two girls ages 8 and 5 with a little boy on the way this summer and happy wife to her husband of fourteen years. She writes, gardens, composes conservative folk music and enjoys angering "faux feminists" as often as possible. www.Facebook.com/MeganFoxWriter

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All Comments   (6)
All Comments   (6)
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To add to my previous comments, my wife and daughter think all this excuse making is complete crap, and they're embarrassed by it.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
I'd suggest not getting married, either. You're likely to be charged with rape, assault and child abuse when she's bored with you and not getting her way in court.

Face it - there's no way to hold women accountable for anything, even murder. Who wants that in their life?
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
-- Here’s a better idea. Find a wife. --

First, wives are getting pretty rare. Second, wives, too, can claim rape; there are precedents for it. Third, even a wife who loves you will not guarantee you "access;" the rate at which a couple's sexual frequency drops off after matrimony is one of the informational wonders of the world.

This is one of the maladies of our time for which there is no guaranteed cure.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
Bottom line: women are not responsible for anything they do. They are like children.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
Hear, hear! Best one yet!
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
I guess we can't charge women with DUI either. Not responsible for what she does. Suggest women don't drink, you're a horrible bigot. suggest they act responsibly, you're a horrible bigot. Heads you win, tails I lose.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
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