Last week in the central Pennsylvania hamlet of St. Marys, a 25-year-old man named Joshua Lee Coffey did what no 25-year-old man who is still living with his mother should ever do: he expressed his dislike for the dinner she served him. It was pork, you see, and as a pious convert to Islam, Coffey considered pork unclean, and his mother inconsiderate for having served it.

But “inconsiderate” is understated. A war of words escalated quickly – at least as far as young Coffey was concerned. He complained to his mother that she was trying to “poison” him with the pork, reminding her that Islam forbade the consumption of The Other White Meat. His fury rising, he soon threatened to kill her, as well as her boyfriend, Mark Blair, who was also present for the fateful pork dinner.

It wasn’t an idle threat. In a righteous rage, Coffey went to the kitchen and found a ten-inch knife, which he then took to his mother’s bedroom, where she and her beau had been dining, and brandished it in front of the terrified pair. He then held it to Blair’s throat, threatening to strike the neck of the hapless infidel (in accord with the command enshrined in Qur’an 47:4) if Ma Coffey dared to call the police.

His terrified mother jumped out the bedroom window onto the roof. Having enough presence of mind to grab her cellphone, she swiftly called the cops and then climbed down and fled to a neighbor’s home to await their arrival. Coffey then apparently decided not to slit Blair’s throat; police found the righteously angry young Muslim in the family backyard, still holding his big kitchen knife. He is apprehended and is currently being held on $5,000 bail.