Rowling Finally Gave Hermione the Spanking She Deserves

JOHN D MCHUGH

In happier times, child actress Emma Watson brought J.K. Rowling's beloved Hermione character to life in the Harry Potter movies, beginning in 2001 when Watson was just 11 years old. She's a big girl now but in serious need of a spanking — one that Rowling just belatedly, reluctantly, and devastatingly applied. 

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Seriously, it might be weeks before Watson can sit down comfortably again. 

"Emma and [and Harry Potter costar Daniel Radcliffe] in particular have both made it clear over the last few years that they think our former professional association gives them a particular right - nay, obligation - to critique me and my views in public," Rowling posted to X on Monday. "Years after they finished acting in Potter, they continue to assume the role of de facto spokespeople for the world I created."

Ouch. 

Now 35, Watson spent years using public appearances and social media to take digs at Rowling and her so-called transphobia. "Trans people are who they say they are and deserve to live their lives without being constantly questioned or told they aren't who they say they are," Watson tweeted in response to Rowling in 2020. And that was really just the start.

For her part, Rowling has long used her fame and fortune to stand up for the sanctity of women's spaces and women's sports — even at the height of transanity.

"Here to present the next award is Emma Watson," BAFTA Awards host Rebel Wilson announced that same year. "She calls herself a feminist, but we all know she's a witch."

After taking the stage, Watson smiled and said, "I'm here for all the witches," in reference to Rowling's recognition that men aren't women.

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"I wasn't a multimillionaire at fourteen," Rowling reminded Watson today. "I lived in poverty while writing the book that made Emma famous. I therefore understand from my own life experience what the trashing of women's rights in which Emma has so enthusiastically participated means to women and girls without her privileges."

Rowling remembers 2020 as a time "when the death, rape and torture threats against me were at their peak." She continued, "Emma had just publicly poured more petrol on the flames, yet thought a one line expression of concern from her would reassure me of her fundamental sympathy and kindness."

Rowling later said she would “never forgive” Watson — or co-stars Radcliffe and Rupert Grint — for having "cozied up to a movement intent on eroding women’s hard-won rights."

Rowling's post today was more in sorrow than in anger, however:

The greatest irony here is that, had Emma not decided in her most recent interview to declare that she loves and treasures me - a change of tack I suspect she's adopted because she's noticed full-throated condemnation of me is no longer quite as fashionable as it was - I might never have been this honest.

Stay honest, J.K. — women (and men) need to hear more of that from you. 

I wasn't aware of this until today, but Watson's acting career appears to be dead in the water. She's had only a baker's dozen appearances since the last Harry Potter film debuted almost 15 years ago, including two single-episode appearances on TV. Her most recent film role was in 2019's Little Women, and her last role, period, was in a 2022 short called "Prada Paradoxe," which she directed herself and had no other actors. 

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She's currently attending Oxford in pursuit of a post-grad degree, but that hardly explains a film career long in decline. Watson isn't hurting for money after all the success she enjoyed as a child, so maybe it's relevance she's trying to get with all the outbursts against her former benefactor.

If it's attention she wanted, she just got it — forcefully.

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