Biden Announces Unannounced Hospital Visit Because He's Fine and Nothing Makes Sense Anymore

AP Photo/Evan Vucci

It's officially unofficial that Presidentish Joe Biden will make an unannounced visit to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center now that the announcement has been made by the White House. Literally every lead sentence I write at the top of a story about Biden is more absurd than the previous one — and we still have at least 10 more months of this nonsense to go.


Some — such as yours truly and the not-awful members of the White House Press Corpse [sic] (and I'm looking at you, Peter Doocy) — are more concerned with the alleged president's cognitive health than we are about his physical health. 

There's nothing sinister going on here — at least not on the surface — it's just that the time has come for Biden's annual physical. Still, that leaves us with the question of why the White House called it an unannounced visit in its announcement. It's the kind of absurdity that makes me appreciative of how my favorite bartender, Sammie, has my gin and vermouth in the cocktail shaker before I can even grab a seat at my usual table for lunch.

But I digress.

"What's the President's health really like?" has been one of Washington's favorite inside-the-Beltway parlor games since FDR was lying to the nation — with the help of a willing press — about his visibly failing physical and mental health during his wartime 1944 reelection campaign. With war raging in Eastern Europe, the Gaza Strip, the Red Sea, and China getting increasingly frisky across the Pacific, concerns about Increasingly Slow Joe's well-being are certainly well-founded. 


After last year's routine physical, Biden got an all-clear from Dr. Kevin C. O'Connor, the presidential physician. O'Connor concluded that Biden is "a healthy, vigorous, 80-year-old male, who is fit to successfully execute the duties of the Presidency, to include those as Chief Executive, Head of State and ‘Commander in Chief."

I guess O'Connor doesn't watch much TV, because he must have missed Biden's frighteningly embarrassing appearance this week on "Late Night with Seth Meyers." Christian Toto has all the details, but the TLDR version is that even far-left Variety had to admit that "the most powerful man in the free world may be incapable of answering softball questions."

However, "most media outlets danced around Biden’s latest gaffes," Toto noted. "They cherry-picked his quips and comments, preventing readers from grasping how poorly he fared during the conversation." 

I assume we'll get a similar whitewash, once again, from Dr. O'Connor.

Two weeks ago, a reporter asked White House Press Weasel Karine Jean-Pierre if the White House thinks "the idea of the president taking a cognitive test as a part of this physical is a legitimate idea." She replied that "The president proves every day [in] how he operates and how he thinks, by dealing with world leaders, by making difficult decisions on behalf of the American people – whether it's domestic or it's national security."


Anybody looking at their last grocery bill, depleted savings account, massive credit card debt, or Biden's recklessly irresolute global leadership might ask if KJP is in as much cognitive decline as POTUS is.

Recommended: She's In, She's Out, She's BACK IN!

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It'll piss off KJP, I promise.


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