If It's Tuesday, We Must Be Stuck With Biden Forever (Unless We Aren't)

There is a secret Democrat plot to remove Presidentish Joe Biden from the ticket, unless it’s Tuesday and there isn’t.

Or is that Thursdays?

I’ll have to ask you to forgive me for sounding like I’m suffering from Sudden Onset Multiple Personality Disorder — that’s a thing, right? — because I’m only following a news cycle that spins and flips around like two fat kids riding a seesaw mounted to a trampoline inside a bouncy house.

While recording the “Five O’Clock Somewhere” VIP Gold Live Chat yesterday with my dear friend and colleague Stephen Kruiser, our lead story was that Axios report about “Old Yeller.” From the headline concerning Biden’s profanity-laced outbursts at his underlings, you got the impression that Axios was sticking the shiv between the old man’s ribs. But then you get into the meat of the report and, as PJ’s own Robert Spencer noted on Monday, “Much of the Axios piece, however, appears to be devoted to using Biden’s rants as evidence that he doesn’t have dementia.”

So there’s some schizophrenia for you right there, courtesy of Axios.

But when you step back and look at the intricacies involved in replacing Biden, they’re admittedly formidable. First, Democrats would have to find a way to rid themselves of Kamala Harris. Say what you will about Biden’s growing senescence, but he knows how to play (and rig) the system to his advantage — or at least the cabal that installed him in the White House does. Harris couldn’t successfully steal a loaf of bread from her own grocery bags, and The Party knows it. Worse, as the first Woman of Color to Do This Or That, she’s basically untouchable.

It’s tough enough to ditch a sitting president and it becomes nearly impossible when they somehow need to ditch the veep first.

And if we’re being brutally honest with one another, can’t we admit that there’s no way Biden would ever voluntarily leave public life, so long as there’s one dime left to be pilfered from the Treasury or from his buddies in Beijing?

Biden can, I’m sure Washington Dems believe, kindly drop dead just as soon as he’s sworn back in. But until then, it’s clear that Democrats are sticking with Biden — or feel that they’re stuck with Biden — long enough, at least, to drag him over the finish line one more time.

Because that’s exactly what I believe on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and odd-numbered Sundays.

Wait until tomorrow, though, and I’ll be typing an entirely different tune, sung in the key of RFK Jr.

This is Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit on Monday: “Incumbents who face a serious primary challenge generally lose. RFK Jr. is polling around 20%.” You should, Glenn added, “Compare to Eugene McCarthy in 1968.”

So I did compare them, and this is what I found: “Opinion polls prior to the New Hampshire primary showed that McCarthy’s support stood at only 10 to 20 percent.”

New Hampshire Democrats gave McCarthy 42% of the primary vote, luring RFK père into the race, and quickly forcing incumbent LBJ to drop out. RFK, before his assassination, was the Democrats’ shiny new thing. If they hesitated before pulling the lever for a far-lefty like McCarthy, they’d have voted for Bobby with enthusiasm.

Before ditching Biden, Democrats need a shiny new thing for 2024, which brings us to Gavin Newsom’s hair.

Mark my words: this is the plan. Replace Biden with the shinier, less senile version of Bond Villain. If I had to predict right now, Newsom will@be the nominee, not Biden. In fact Biden will likely pass the baton directly to the guy rather than run. https://t.co/p8IVOgtvUa

— Owl of Athena (@deb_fillman) July 11, 2023

My friend and PJ colleague Jeff Reynolds agrees: Brace Yourself for President Gavin Newsom. “It doesn’t take much imagination to get to a world in which Biden declines to run again,” Jeff wrote. “It doesn’t even take a conspiracy.”

As I wrote just a few paragraphs ago, it’s literally impossible for Biden to voluntarily give up all that money and power, so there’s no way I can buy into the Newsom Theory…

…on a Tuesday. Just wait until tomorrow when it will be a sure thing that Deb and Jeff have nailed it, and that Biden is preparing for his final flight on Marine One on Jan. 20, 2025.

At least until Thursday, when he won’t be.

Recommended: Indiana Jones’ B.O. Stinks