Will Chicago become the next San Francisco, the next Baltimore, or even the next Detroit? Whatever the answer, watch as new mayor Brandon Johnson is cheered by his own voters as he serves up poisoned grape Flavor Aid. That’s the big crazy on today’s Insanity Wrap — an entire week’s worth of nuttiness wrapped up in one easy-to-swallow medicated news capsule.
Plus:
- It isn’t just Bud Light: All of InBev really hates you.
- Thank goodness twerking isn’t just for tasteless grownups any longer.
- The meme I’m going to Hell for sharing with you.
Before we get to today’s big story, here’s a short video to make you lose whatever little faith you might still have in humanity.
This Is Not a Sane World, Exhibit #1,000,006
Young child on stage with drag queens encouraged to twerk for crowd.
Ping @libsoftiktok pic.twitter.com/hHbMuzkemE— Rita Panahi (@RitaPanahi) May 17, 2023
Nothing gets the crowd roaring like sexualizing a six-year-old for their own amusement.
The Night Chicago Died
You’ve got to appreciate brand-spankin’ new Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson for being so forthright about what he intends to do to his struggling city. Johnson promised at his inauguration on Monday to “build a Chicago that means our economy gets to grow by rerouting the rivers of prosperity to the base of disinvestment,” whatever that means, “So that no one goes thirsty.”
What it really means is new and higher taxes, and Johnson’s “progressive” allies, Saqib Bhatti and Gabriela Noa Betancourt, stepped immediately into action, releasing a fiscal blueprint for the city called “First We Get the Money.”
The name was chosen by the Action Center on Race and the Economy (ACRE) policy organization after “Pay Up, Sucka” scored slightly lower with focus groups.
The package includes a metric butt-ton of new spending, naturally, but it’s the $12 billion in new taxes that will make people scream in agony. For reference, Chicago’s “historic” “recovery” budget last year was “just” $16.7 billion.
New or increased taxes include but are not limited to:
An annual head tax of $33 per worker for companies with 50+ employees
Quadruple the tax on jet fuel.
A 3.5% income tax on households making more than $100K
A 0.4% “wealth tax” for the top 10% of city earners.
$1-2 transaction tax for financial exchanges.
Needless to say, the taxes mostly hit one kind of Chicagoan with two particular (but related) skills: The ability to pay and the ability to get the hell out of Dodge and not pay.
Think I’m kidding? The Chicago Mercantile Exchange — founded in the city in 1898 and one of the largest trading floors in the world — on Monday threatened to relocate out of Chicago.
The Merc leaving Chicago would be like the NYSE decamping for Tampa, taking with it all of the high-paying jobs with those high-flying bonuses and destroying all the attendant service-sector jobs.
Besides, even before COVID-19 lockdowns and Saint George Floyd nuttiness had Americans fleeing for the burbs, Chicago was already the fastest-shrinking metro area in the country.
Progressives like ACRE might try to impose $12 billion in taxes, but they’ll never collect them. What they can do, though, is accelerate Chicago’s slow-motion suicide.
If there’s any good news in all this, it’s that the Chicago Machine might be corrupt and greedy, but they aren’t insane. They couldn’t manage to fix the election for Johnson’s challenger, the slightly-less-nutty former Chicago Public Schools CEO, Paul Vallas. But I suspect they’ll bring everything they can to fight whatever version of “First We Get the Money” that Johnson ends up going with.
The bad news? With a shrinking tax base and ravenous progressives firmly in charge, at the very least some stripped-down version of “Pay Up, Sucka” will be imposed. And before long, Mayor Johnson and his ACRE allies will wonder where all the taxpayers have gone.
Recommended: Woke & Broke: Why Left-Wing Publications Like ‘Vice’ Are Failing
Before We Continue, Here’s a Short Video to Restore Your Faith in Everything…
How cute is this dog so excited over the baby! Labs are the best pic.twitter.com/VEZrQdR9ab
— Puppies 🐶 (@PuppiesIover) May 17, 2023
The clip reminded me of the day Melissa and I brought home our eldest, a little over 17 years ago:
Yep, he really was born with all that hair — and he still can’t walk past a dog without petting it.
Shot…
Bud Light resorts to giving its beer away for FREE: Embattled brand is mocked for offering $20 rebate on unsold cases worth just $19.98 as Dylan Mulvaney backlash causes yet another sales drop
If I’ve done my math correctly, Anheuser-Busch will effectively pay you two cents to drink a case of Bud Light.
All I can say is: You’re gonna have to come up with a whole lot more than that, Bud.
After watching this next clip, you’ll say the same thing.
…Chaser
Anheuser-Busch is working to replace their white male employees.
This is what DEI does. It divides your workforce based on race, promotes the Woke victim mentality, and provides zero value for your customers. pic.twitter.com/703QFS71eo
— Mythinformed (@MythinformedMKE) May 17, 2023
The Bud Light debacle didn’t happen in a vacuum. Corporate hired a marketing veep (Alissa Heinerscheid, currently on leave) eager to take the brand on a kamikaze run because that’s what InBev believes in.
On a side, I’d just add how very, very wrong I was when the story first broke. I figured Bud Light’s rebranding would probably work — albeit for a MUCH smaller market — because I assumed Heinerscheid knew what she was talking about when she called Bud Light a “dying brand.”
Turns out the brand was doing just fine before she pushed it over the cliff, just as InBev seems to want for the entire company.
Drink accordingly.
A quick little something before we get to the closing meme…
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One More Thing…
Look, it popped up on my Twitter feed and now we all have to suffer — particularly Longtime Sharp VodkaPundit Reader™ Ron Swanson’s Alter Ego, who specializes in skipping each Insanity Wrap opening video.
Take that, Ron!
That’s a Wrap for this week.
Come back next week for another Insanity Wrap…
…assuming we make it that long.
Previously On Insanity Wrap: We Have to Talk About the Texas Shooter’s Deeply Weird Origins…
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