Now the Commies Want to Abolish Your Kitchen

Add “abolish your kitchen” to the overlong list of things that commies want banned and rebuilt in their own sullen image.

It isn’t enough to abolish capitalism so that the vanguard of the proletariat may seize the means of production in the name of the downtrodden worker. That’s been tried — repeatedly — and everywhere its been tried, every time, the result is poverty, oppression, and death.

Now, “Let us begin by abolishing our kitchens,” suggests Erin Maglaque in her glowing review of Sophie Lewis’s new Communist screed, Abolish the Family.

“If we begin by abolishing our kitchens, what else might we get a taste for destroying, and for creating?”

To the former: Everything. To the latter: Venezuela.

According to Lewis, “Family is a terrible way to satisfy our desire for love and care,” and ought to be abolished.

The family you love, the home you’ve built — those are things to be dispensed with by the State, or “the revolutionary politics of family abolition,” as Maglaque put it.

Get warm on your community gruel, comrades — there’s no heat in the barracks tonight.

This is not the first time Lewis has called for abolishing the family. Her first book was Full Surrogacy Now: Feminism Against Family. In it, she said that many more pregnancies should be surrogate because “In doing so,” summarized one review, “we break down our assumptions that children necessarily belong to those whose genetics they share.”

Communists are the Terminator of politics. They can’t be bargained with. They can’t be reasoned with. They don’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And they absolutely will not stop…ever, until you are dead!

So I’m done arguing with the Communists. All the proof anyone ever needed that their system doesn’t work is written in the blood of 100,000,000 dead.

Shall we mock the Communists, instead?

It’s the one thing Twitter is still good for, so let’s get to it.

Well, this goes to prove that there are actually some drawbacks to making marijuana widely available and decriminalised, just not the ones everyone predicted.

— TralfamadoreStan (@zoffany90) September 25, 2022

One important thing to remember about Lefties is that they hate each other even more than they hate you. The Bolsheviks must kill off the Mensheviks, the Brownshirts must kill off Antifa, etc.

Now it’s Abolish Kitchenites vs the Abolish Restaurants faction.

TFW when your final stage socialism consists of a battle to the death between the "abolish kitchens" faction and the "abolish restaurants" faction https://t.co/8mRCPzxsnF

— Scott Lemieux (@LemieuxLGM) September 25, 2022

I like the guy who tweeted, “The obvious answer: Abolish food as a bourgeois affectation.”

That comes later, comrade. Not even very much later.

Then, of course, the personal dig:

Lady who couldn't get a date or cook a meal to save her life, decided to write a book.

Her solution: abolish the family and kitchens. 😂@JayneTheory @KinelRyan https://t.co/hJr5ziR13P

— Nina Infinity (@Nina7Infinity) September 25, 2022

I like to think I’m above that kind of thing, but then I remember the Communists must be shown no mercy.

Besides, I saw a video of Lewis, and the first thing that came to mind was Never Been Kissed. To be fair, that movie had a happy ending, but Communism never does.

Even the Lefties are having none of this:

The whole "abolish the kitchen" thing is wild to me because we should be putting kitchens everywhere, same with beds under dry roofs, toilets, etc.

— Mitchell Akhurst (complimentary) (@polygonnative) September 26, 2022

This next guy bills himself as a “pragmatic leftist.”

Abolish your kitchen! This one guy you’ve never heard of said it was neat! You might like your kitchen, but push through that. Signed, the Brooklyn Institute for Social Research. pic.twitter.com/H9wLaBQe1A

— The Fig Economy (@figgityfigs) September 25, 2022

Who knows, maybe he’s so pragmatic he’ll be a righty in no time.

And finally: