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Insanity Wrap #13: Joe Biden's Nasal Fantasy, Plus Nice White Parents Ruin Everything

"Where are my pants?" (AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

Insanity Wrap needs to know: Is there a medical practice where nurses inflate patients by blowing directly into their noses?

Answer: No, but apparently Joe Biden is now senile enough to believe and say most anything, no matter how far divorced from reality.

Before we get to that, a quick preview of today’s Insanity Wrap:

• The New York Times goes to war against “nice white parents.”

• Another antifa thug self-immolates.

• The shutdown is over (if you’re a member of the New Protected Class).

Shall we begin?

Your Daily Dose of Mostly Peaceful Protest

The right of the people to peacefully assemble shall not be infringed.

These violently riotous commie bastards need to learn what it’s like to spend a while handcuffed while charges are written up for violations of the Insurrection Act and other laws protecting private and public property.

Do Not Resuscitate Nasally

If Insanity Wrap hasn’t written much about Joe Biden in recent weeks, it’s because we prefer to leave alone any former public official who has since retreated to a quiet private life far from the public eye.

An old man who chooses to spend his declining years in his basement reading Twitter and sometimes chatting on Zoom with friends doesn’t deserve anyone’s scrutiny or mockery.

But then it was brought to our attention that the little-seen former vice president remains the Democrats’ alleged presidential nominee.

Who knew?

At a recent virtual campaign appearance, here’s what Biden had to say about his time as a patient — presumably for his 1998 brain surgery — at Walter Reed Medical Center:

“I had a nurse, nurses at Walter Reed hospital who would bend down and whisper in my ear, go home and get me pillows. They would make sure they’d actually, probably nothing ever taught in, you can’t do it in the COVID time, but they’d actually breathe in my nostrils to make me move, to get me moving.”

No, Joe, you didn’t. They didn’t.

Insanity Wrap would like to assure you, gentle reader, that this never happened.

It didn’t happen before COVID, it isn’t happening during COVID, and it won’t happen after COVID.

No trained medical professional gets a patient up and moving by placing their mouth over the patient’s nose and blowing.

But we do have questions.

• Does Biden believe this happened, that actual nurses basically inflated a United States senator through his nose?

• If Biden made up this story, why?

• If he believes it’s true, why would he tell anyone?

• How can that person he’s talking to just sit there and listen to this story as if it were true?

• Aren’t you glad that mouth-to-nose resuscitation for grownups isn’t a thing?

Finally, Insanity Wrap shudders to imagine what new readers we might gain from people conducting web searches for “nasal fantasy.”

In Which an Antifa Thug Accidentally Creates a Tiny Fuel-Air Explosive

You weren’t using those eyebrows, were you, Miss?

Previously on Insanity Wrap: Antifa Arsonist’s Sublime Self-Own, Plus America Cancels Cancel Culture

We Have Met the Enemy and They Are Nice White Parents

Insanity Wrap Can't Stand Nice White Parents

Behold: The Enemy of Education. (Image by 2081671 from Pixabay.)

The New York Times would like to introduce you to a new podcast called “Nice White Parents,” which it bills as a “limited series about building a better school system, and what gets in the way.”

White people, apparently.

Read:

We know that American public schools do not guarantee each child an equal education — two decades of school reform initiatives have not changed that. But when we look at how our schools are failing, we usually focus on who they’re failing: Black and brown kids. We ask: Why aren’t they performing better? Why aren’t they achieving more?

Those are not the right questions.

If you want to understand what’s wrong with our public education system, you have to look at what is arguably the most powerful force in our schools: White parents.

Oh, that’s rich.

Insanity Wrap was forced to spend a good deal of time earlier this week explaining that maybe if the Left weren’t so busy insisting that grammar is racist, maybe our schools wouldn’t have robbed generations of black Americans of a real education.

It wasn’t white parents who derided black kids who were serious about their studies for “acting white.”

The hypocrisy is stunning: Telling black and brown kids they don’t have to learn, and then blaming anyone but themselves when black and brown kids don’t learn.

It’s racism hidden behind a facade of anti-racism. It’s child abuse, too.

And Insanity Wrap gets angrier than we are crazy just thinking about it.

The Pandemic Is Over, Everyone Back to Work

And:

Look, are we in a health crisis requiring business and school closures, social distancing, and all the rest, or are we not?

This is a simple question, and Insanity Wrap knows the answer: It depends.

If you’re a member of the new protected class of rioters, you are free to go about the vital business of destroying whatever is left of America’s economy and social fabric.

If you aren’t, then sit down and shut up and stay home and wear the damn mask, hater.

One More Thing…

(Seen on Facebook.)

Who said romance was dead?

That’s a wrap for today.

Come back Monday for another Insanity Wrap…

…assuming we make it that long.

Previously on Insanity Wrap: California’s Lunatic Booze Rules, Plus Biden Can’t Hack It