VodkaPundit

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"It's five o'clock somewhere -- right, Mommy?"

Oh, to be young and innocent once more:

The parents of an 8-year-old boy are upset after their son was served an alcoholic root beer at a Las Vegas T.G.I. Friday’s, KTNV reports.

When 8-year-old Tyler Schwab recieved the beverage at the T.G.I. Friday’s inside The Orleans hotel-casino, he took a few sips, recognizing that it was unlike any root beer he had ever tried before.

That’s because it wasn’t. It was a bottle of Not Your Father’s Root Beer, a root beer-flavored beer with 5.9 percent alcohol content.

“What do you call that? Throw up root beer?” Tyler recalled saying when speaking to KTNV. “Cause that’s what it tastes like.”

I would have kept my mouth shut and enjoyed my grownup root beer — no kidding.

True story.

I don’t recall much of the Christmas of ’76. The adults were crowded around the dining room table, and a few “kids” (mostly older teens, plus seven-year-old me) were squished together at the kiddie table. But I’m told that after dinner, when the adults and teens excused themselves to the living room, I went around the big table and polished off all the unfinished drinks.

I’m told I had quite the time unwrapping my gifts that night. But I have to take that on faith because I remember none of it, of course.

The good things really are timeless, aren’t they?

And I’m sorry, but did I say “to be young and innocent once more?”

I’d settle for just “young.” The “innocent” seems to have never been.