Your ♡bamaCare!!! Fail of the Day

Back end? We don’t need no stinkin’ back end:

The Obama administration is revamping HealthCare.gov and scrapping significant parts of the federal health-insurance marketplace in an effort to avoid the problems that plagued the site’s launch last fall, according to presentations to health insurers and interviews with government officials and contractors.

But the makeover—and the tight timeline to accomplish it—are raising concerns that consumers could face another rocky rollout this fall when they return to the site to choose health plans. Some key back-end functions, including a system to automate payments to insurers, are running behind schedule, according to a presentation federal officials made to health insurers.

If I understand correctly the current patch to the payment backend, the “new & improved” Healthcare.gov works like this:

• Through your web browser, you type every single piece of information about yourself ever, plus a promise not to cheat when you report your eligibility for subsidies.

• Through a completely automated process, your information is then delivered by hand to an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters, who pass along their results to your insurance company via carrier pigeon, where a reliable Democrat voter, newly-hired for the make-work job, types it back into a computer just as soon as her break is over.

That Means It’s Working™.