The Internet of Alcoholic Things

This was bound to happen, but that doesn’t mean we have to like it:

First the Internet. Then tablets. And now, the last piece of the smart-home puzzle: The connected bar.

Pernod Ricard, the Paris company that sells Absolut Vodka, among other brands, unveiled the smart bar Wednesday at its annual innovation day.

You can watch a demonstration video here.

Dubbed “Project Gutenberg,” the system is still in development. But essentially, the system places your choice of alcohol in containers that resemble stackable books or computer hard drives.

These then sit on a tray that can talk to your iPad to inform it when the contents are running low. Press a glass against the container and it dispenses the alcohol.

As a total lazy-ass bastard, I understand the need for convenience. But not like this — no.

Your bar (or bars, plural, in the case of Casa Verde) is part utility — a place to hold your liquor. But it’s also part display — seeing what you have.

You could save closet space perhaps, doing something similar with your clothes. But how are you supposed to choose, to really know what you have, if you can’t use your eyes and your touch?